We Help A Woman In El Salvador Raise Pigs
by“She’s got a family just like ours,” said Miss10. I assumed she meant there were five kids living at home, but no. “Mum says you’re raising pigs too.”
“She’s got a family just like ours,” said Miss10. I assumed she meant there were five kids living at home, but no. “Mum says you’re raising pigs too.”
I’ve decided to show you what my wife does when I ask her to touch up a photo of me for my blog.
It’s important, when you go to the loo, to make sure there’s enough bum tickets to get the job done. How important? Take this evening, for example…
“You need to get dressed,” said Tracey. “I am dressed,” I told her. Tracey looked me over. A look of embarrassment at her faux pas failed to register on her face. “No, you’re not.”
The Athlete’s Foot invited me to take one of my kids in for a fitting of one of their school shoe range. Selling shoes would have to be the easiest job in the world, wouldn’t it? You stand at the till and suggest cleaning products. Boy, was I wrong about that.
Some may consider this post to be a little too much information so don’t click over if you’re easier offended by words like penis, pulled and finger, cause they’re all in it.
The gate on our balcony is kept shut by my clever childproof ‘lock’ – two hair ties wrapped twice each around the latch. Suffice to say I now need to remove the word ‘childproof’ from any future references to it.
I woke up in the wee hours this morning and didn’t even glance at the clock. I didn’t need too. I know what stupid o’clock feels like.
According to my wife, my driving has always been cause for some concern. “Even the kids are noticing it,” she told me smugly today. But not in the way she thinks…
“What colour would you like us to paint your walls?” I asked the girls in the car today. This could only go well…
Ten New Years resolutions for 2014. Number 1. RECYCLING. I am determined to do better this year. I’ll start by recycling most of my 2013 New Years resolutions, the vast majority of which are untouched and in pristine condition.