Too Much Information


Having brought all the groceries in from the car, I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain which stopped me dead in my tracks. It was gone in seconds, but several times over the course of the evening it came back with a vengeance.

“You’re not going to believe this,” I said to Tracey, “but I’m getting the worst sort of pain in the worst possible spot.” And I quickly explained what I was experiencing.

Now be warned, we’re about to jump into the seedy realms of what some might consider ‘too much information’.

Essentially, my penis was experiencing pain.

“What kind of pain?” Tracey wanted to know.

With my finger I drew a line from my elbow to my wrist. “It shoots up and then is really bad at the end,” I said, now pointing at my fist.

Tracey raised an eyebrow at my arm. I knew what she was thinking.

“That’s not to scale, of course,” I admitted.

Within minutes Doc Tracey was on the case.

“It says here it could be prostate or kidney stones,” she told me as she scanned her screen. “You better book an appointment.”

“It’s only just started,” I stammered. “Let’s give it a week and see if it doesn’t get better.”

“Don’t you dare complain,” she said. “If this was pain in my breast you’d be demanding to know why I wasn’t at the emergency already.”

“Well, they’re important-”

“Think about it.”

“Ah, well, yes.”

So I went because I never want to be one of these guys who finds themselves having bits cut off or worse because they were too scared to be examined. And it turns out, short of having a few cameras plugged into my body down the track so they can get some happy snaps, it’s all good. The Doc says I’ve just pulled something down ‘there’ when I brought the groceries in.

“Typical,” said my wife with a grin. “You’ve managed to damage the only muscle you regularly attempt to exercise.”

When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes

Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page.

’raising a family on little more than laughs’


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