What a Nightmare!

Walked past a couple of tourists near a beautiful stretch of waterside Cairns videoing….this. It’s inspired us to take photos all across this great land with the crappiest backgrounds we can find. We make our own fun around here ūüėČ

Living in such a confined space with the kids has been surprisingly wonderful. As annoyingly irritating as a fly up your nose, obviously, but also wonderful.

The best part has been listening in to their conversations – it’s an eye opener.

A few days ago, Tracey and I were in fits of laughter under our doona while Miss7 explained sex to her siblings.

“Mum and Dad rub against each other and go huh and then a baby comes out the birth hole.”

Then last night Miss9 woke up with a bad dream climbed into our bed. This morning she was being especially difficult to be around so I explained to the other kids (read as, forewarned) this was probably on account of broken sleep from the nightmare.

Suddenly, the heated ‘discussion’ about whose turn it was to pour milk on cereal was set aside.

“What was your nightmare?” Miss13 asked her. “Can you remember?”

It’s easy to assume Miss13 was being a lovely big sister and endeavouring¬†to support her younger sibling, but I couldn’t shake the idea, like Jack Nicholson in Witches of Eastwick, she was just collecting data for future reference.

“Of course I remember,” said Miss9 indignantly. Chores aside, she remembers everything. She quickly summed up the major plot points which ultimately had her kneeing me in the kidneys as she crawled between me and Trace.¬†“I made a friend and you came to play with us and then you both played together and not with me.”

There was a pause as Miss13 waited for her little sister to finish.


“That’s it.”

That’s your nightmare?” asked¬†Miss13, incredulously.


Cue Miss13 rushing in to give her sister a hug and say she’d never do that, I thought….wrongly.

“You suck!” said Miss13.

“No,” Miss9 corrected her. “You suck. You’re the one who wouldn’t let me play with my friend.”

“It wasn’t real, you know,” said Miss13. “You suck because that isn’t even a proper nightmare. Proper nightmares are when Grandad’s head comes off and floats around the room,¬†or a dinosaur is about to eat¬†you.”

“But they’re not real.”

“Of course they are,” said Miss13. “They’re my nightmares so I should know.”

But Miss9 wasn’t having any of that.

“No, they’re not. They can’t happen. Dinosaurs aren’t even around anymore,” she explained.¬†“But you could take a friend off me and not let her play with me. That could actually happen so it’s scary.”

Which, of course, is why you wake up self-righteous, treat your sisters like crap and be about as difficult as a teaspoon of hundreds and thousands on the International Space Station.

Again,¬†I thought¬†this would be Miss13’s¬†cue for¬†reassuring her sister and saying this could never happen.

But, again, she chose a different course.

“That’s true,” confirmed¬†Miss13 in a tone which left no room for doubt, going on to suggest. “I think the sensible thing is to¬†be super nice to everyone¬†for a while.” This was followed by¬†as much¬†sickly sweetness as I’ve ever heard a sentence dipped in. “And¬†right now I really do love you…but maybe¬†you better pass me back the milk just in case.”

Good one, Jack.

Problem with the bus looks to be a leaky brake line. Parts are coming from Sydney so we’ve had to book in for another three days here at Big4 Coconut Resort. Kids were devastated insistent we stay as long as possible.
I’ll remind you of Tracey’s ‘we only need two mugs – one each’ policy. We threw¬†out our mugs because we found¬†cracks in them – I’m not drooling while I drink after all –¬†then forgot to replace them at the shops. Bowl of tea, Tracey?
Of course, maybe if Tracey had been able to coax me out of the stool aisle we’d have found some.
Pancake Thursday! Let me rephrase that – Free Pancake Thursday! Mine was so big it hung over the plate the whole way around. And you could go back for 2nds!
They even cooked Miss7’s gluten free ones from the mix we brought along. They were great, happily dirtying a BBQ plate they’d just cleaned to minimise cross-contamination.
We go to great lengths to make sure she doesn’t feel left out. Gluten Free is a bitch, but it’s already helping her stomach pains so worth it.
This is IN the park we’re staying at! So much to do¬†without even leaving the resort. What’s amazing are how many locals stay here for a few days every now and then. One lot of people we met live a few streets away. Best thing about the water park area is I can relax and Facebook. Don’t panic. There’s a lifeguard.
The kids jostle for position when it’s time for the bucket to tip.
Master11 was very concerned about whether or not Tracey could go in the waterslide. “Mum, what do you weigh? Mum? What do you weigh? MUM? You’re not allowed on the waterslide if you’re over 135kg! What do you weigh?!” Tracey was so over it¬†she jumped into the tube. Only to come out the bottom and Master11¬†scream down, “It’s a tsunami!”

One of the pools the kids love to hang about in. This one is deeper and requires more adult supervision, so I take Tracey with me.
Took public transport in to town to meet up with my sister and check out Cairns Zoom and Wildlife Dome. Bus driver was heavy on the brakes and even went up a curb coming out of a shopping centre. I saw one car actually back away as the front of the bus passed within inches of him and the back was getting even closer. “I take it back,” said Master11 when we came down off the gutter, “you are a good bus driver, Dad.”

Last year, this kid wouldn’t get into a lift, and I had to drive in the middlest lane when going over a bridge. Here he was today totally owning his anxiety and working his way around the course. So proud. Thank you, Wendy. You know who you are.
My sister. She’s taken up scaring our mother. “Why do you have to do these things like bunny jumping and flying ultralights? Don’t you love me anymore?”

Another surprise of the day – Miss7 loved it.

Frustratingly for her, Miss4 was too little for the climbing activities, but she did get to hold the baby crocodile and the snake. Now she wants pet ones. ¬†Is this where I mention my bad dream¬†the other night was falling in to Goliath’s enclosure and losing a leg.¬†He’s about as¬†dinosaury as you can get these days, so at least Miss13 will agree it’s a legit¬†nightmare.¬†

The whole thing was a fantastic exercise in confidence building. Not least the zip line across Goliath, the overfed crocodile.
“Dad,” said Master11 coming up to me and sounding disappointed, “you know they photoshop the snapping crocodile into the pictures?” Um…good.
Mother’s daughter.
Again, we took the opportunity to read the signs so this counts as a homeschooling activity.
I didn’t like this answer much. Tracey reckons I definitely wasn’t a croc in a past life.
On our way to the bus rank to go home, we began to notice people giving us odd looks. One of us finally noticed this.
Okay, so note to self: cherries don’t necessarily make a good snack food for excursions.
Our second bad background check selfie. This is not going to get old fast.
I’m ending this post with what is¬†our¬†favourite shot of the last few days – my sister doing the zip line over Goliath – because when she went to pick it up the girl at the counter said, “Yes, I’ve got it here. I recognise your smile.”

Raising a family on little more than laughs

This is not a sponsored post.


  • So funny. I can’t choose my favourite bit LOL. What an excellent life choice you’ve made going on this journey. I wish we’d done it.

  • So, just how hard am I meant to laugh? Because I’m at the (sorry, Bruce, but Tracey will get this) “just had the fourth kid” level.

    Since you didn’t really do the GC for the beginning of the lap I guess I’ll reserve it for the end?

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