Tonight’s Bedtime Story


I told my youngest two a bedtime story tonight, which Tracey described as not very good. I was quite pleased with it. What do you think?

Once upon a time there was a princess named Bruce.

Princess Bruce used to love playing rugby and chasing the other girls.ย 

One day she was fiddling with her mustache when a friend said,ย “Bruce. That’s a bit of a strange name for a girl. Are you sure you’re a princess?”

“Of course I am,” said Princess Bruce, putting his hand under his arm and making fart noises.

“Well,” said his friend, “when you go wee wee, do you sit down or stand up?”

“I stand, of course,” said Princess Bruce. “The higher you are, the bigger the splash sound. It’s fun.”

“Well, in that case,” said his friend, “I think you might be a prince.”

“Oh,” said Prince Bruce. “I guess I better get out of this dress, then, and put on a pair of stubbies. Fancy an arm wrestle?”

“You forgot something,” Miss3 said when I got up to leave.


“You forgot to say the end.”

The end.

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โ€œRaising a family on little more than laughs.โ€


What do you think?

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