We fight in front of our kids. Swear in front of our kids. We give them cheese toasties for dinner. And while we haven’t tossed them roughly to the floor, we have accidentally allowed them to drop off change tables and beds. We’ve also delivered them late to school because we slept in, and forgotten to pick them up from school because we were doing important stuff, like watching movies.
And those aren’t even the worst things we’ve done!
So when it comes to parenting, we have guilt.
In fact, a recent survey over of 1000 parents was commissioned by smarTrike and found 60% of parents admitted when it comes to parenting they feel more pressure from themselves than anyone else, with only one in ten rating themselves a 9/10 or 10/10 as a parent.
So in the interests of making you feel better about yourself, here are my most guilt-ridden parenting fails:
- Poison. Usually food doesn’t get a chance to go off in our fridge because there’s so many of us vying for the leftovers. So when one of our kids asked if he could finish off the salsa we were so surprised we had some in the house we didn’t think to work out when it was left over from. Until the doctor started asking us questions.
- Water. Rather than bore you with every single time one of our kids has started to drown right next to us, I’ll tell you the worst. The best thing about taking the kids to a certain resort on the Coast is their water park which also has a lifesaver watching over the kids. The worst thing is when you’re distracting the lifesaver with your amusing stories while your kid starts drowning behind the two of you.
- Bones. We always attempt to ignore our kids when they’ve hurt themselves in the hope they’ll learn to stop whinging at us. Which has never worked. One time it didn’t work was when Miss12 told us she’d broken her leg at the park and, assuming she’d only given herself a bit of a bump, we suggested she walk it off. She went down like a sack of shit, which was exactly how we felt at the hospital when they located the break in an X-ray.
- Cars. It’s so easy to forget there’s a kid in the backseat once they fall asleep. We know because we’ve done it. Fortunately we realised once we got inside and neither of us needed to race off to change a nappy.
- Nuts. We’ve given peanut butter to an anaphylactic. Just a little bit. It was enough to have us bypass the waiting area at the hospital emergency though. “Didn’t you know he was anaphylactic?” the nurse asked us. We had to confess we did, but I had a really good reason for the slip up. I hadn’t had a coffee yet.
And in case you’re thinking we’re horrible parents and are considering calling DOCS I should confess I took a bit of license with these stories. That being the we in every single case should actually be a me.
But, because Tracey and I are a team, I’ve decided I’m taking her down with me.
Still, at the end of the day we can’t have done too bad. We have one adult kid with two degrees and all his fingers, and another who has just started her own little family – so despite still being completely crap at this parenting caper I’m hopeful for the five remaining kids.
As any parent will attest, we can all find something to feel guilty about when it comes to our kids. I prefer to focus on the positive. All that really matters is you love them and let them know it, and get incredibly lucky when you really stuff up. So long as home is their safe place, you’re all good.
So with that in mind, maybe avoid holding on to the jar of salsa if you don’t finish it.
This post is sponsored by smarTrike 5-in-1, a truly nifty idea which allows you to ‘lead from behind’, allowing your kid to explore independently. With this beauty you no longer have to feel guilty about not taking the kids for walks or to zoos and theme parks because it all seems too hard – suddenly it’s all too easy.
Plus, you and your kid will love your smarTrike because it rather cleverly converts to their first trike! Finally, something relating to your kids you don’t have to feel guilty about!
What’s more, the smarTrike people are letting me give one away to a lucky reader. All you have to do to enter is fess up and answer the following in the comments attached to this blog post – What is your guiltiest parenting fail you can almost laugh about now?
Raising a family on little more than laughs”
Sharing is caring. Plus it really does make a difference. Thanks heaps.
10pm Sunday 17th July 2016. Entries will be judged on creativity and amusement, and winner notified within two days.
COMPETITION HAS ENDED
Some awesomely funny reads in there making this a hard decision, but I’m pleased to announce the winner is Laura. I think you’ll agree her entry was hilarious:
“Absentmindedly telling your four year old son to play nicely and stop shouting as he races past you screaming “she’s gonna kill me!” and slamming his bedroom door in his two year old sisters face. Once my brain caught up I thought “what’s that funny noise?” Only to find said two year old with a steak knife she pulled from the open dishwasher stabbing her brother’s closed bedroom door.”
This post is rather pleasingly and obviously sponsored by smarTrike