Surely Kids Shouldn’t Know This…

Book house and apple

Today was the first and only day I can ever recall thinking we should at least consider home schooling.

And bear in mind, I hate helping my kids with homework. Almost as much as they hate me helping them.

Can I just state, categorically, I’ve had ‘the sex talk’ with enough of my kids to feel very comfortable talking about that sort of thing with them. Having already raised two wonderful children to adulthood, I thought I’d heard, and answered, just about every question or scenario a kid could throw at me.

I was wrong.

“There’s this guy at school who is gross,” Master9 told us at dinner tonight.

“Nose picker?” I asked. “Does he eat it?”

The table erupted into ewwwws.

“No,” said Master9. “He says when he grows up he wants to work in a girls strip club.”

When I was nine I wanted to be a fireman.

Now the whole table was eerily quiet, looking firstly at Master9 and then at me.

I’ve got to admit, I didn’t know where to go with this, I was just hoping either he’d miss-said what he said or I’d misheard what I heard. No such luck.

“What’s a girls strip club?” asked Miss7.

“It’s where they take off their clothes,” said Miss10.

“Ewwww,” said Miss4. “They get naked?”

“Why does he want to work in a girls strip club?” I asked Master9 before any more strip club details could be revealed. How does this kid even know about girls strip clubs? was what I really wanted to know. For that matter, how does Miss10?

And the reason he wants to work in a strip club?

“So he can get a good girlfriend,” said Master9.

My entire single life it turns out I was looking for love in all the wrong places, because what you really want in a ‘good’ girlfriend is sensational lap-dancing abilities.

“I will never work in a girls strip club,” piped in Miss7.

“Oh, good,” I stammered. “That’s a good decision.”

Less chance she’ll meet this kid socially.

I think this talk has gone well. Or, at least, as well as it could have. But while I’m notching it up as a win I am starting to wonder about sending them back to their school in the morning, or any place they can be in contact with other children.

I mean seriously, people, strip clubs?

Can’t we all agree to talk to our kids about nose picking like normal parents?

Our ’BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page

 ’raising a family on little more than laughs’ 


  • I have been shocked at how much my kids have learned at school, and they go to a Christian church based school. Sometimes I walk out of the room after a ‘family life skills conversation’ wondering if they actually knew more about the topic, that I do? Its sad because our kids grow up far too quickly as it is. Our kids are introduced to topics that we would much prefer to keep them away from for as long as possible (adulthood if that). My eldest is in year 6 and some of the concepts she has been introduced to at school is crazy. I have been contemplating home schooling for this reason.

  • I remember being told at the age of 6 by a friend who had a rather chaotic family with several older siblings that sex is when two people are naked and they dance together (I have a feeling she saw some movies or something). I was much more sheltered and found this very strange (yet somehow sensed it was something I wasn’t supposed to know about).
    I think your question should not so much be how did your talk with your kids go, but about what the hell the other kid’s parents/siblings are talking about!!!

  • Wow!
    My friend has children whom I have know since birth, the eldest is now 13 and knows about smarty parties.. it was an education to me!!
    As he was being quite open (for a teen) about it I was able to ask a few questions before it all got a bit much…
    The scary part was there was so much misunderstanding among the kids who were talking about this at school. Some didn’t count these “games” as being sexual and nor did they realise that it would still transmit STI’s and quite easily!

  • The amount of things my kids in primary school is awful!! I do however correct them if they dont seem to understanding it is a grown up or sexual thing. Usually once cleared up they dont bother talking about it. Lately it is smoking joints my 12 and 10 year old discuss…. i often wish i should home school. Oh and, ummmmm what is a smarty party… ?

What do you think?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.