It seems I have made a little bit of a fashion faux pas.
Recently I have taken to purchasing geeky tees because I am no longer gainfully employed so require new attire to adorn this beautiful (everything is relative so shut up) bod during work hours.
I now have a heap of tees which cover all the important bases – Star Wars, Firefly, Pokemon, Ironman, Dr Who. The usual suspects.
And every couple of weeks I’m adding more. Because, look, if people can claim homeopathy as a cure for anything then I’ve decided I can retail therapy for what ails me, which in my case is my wife isn’t here so I have control of the credit card.
And I am good at retail therapy. Really good.
Or so I thought.
Twenty assorted tees are now proudly hanging in my wardrobe ready to be called upon for SAHD or blogging duties.
Or, like today, to visit my wonderfully still-kicking wife in hospital.
I pulled out a particularly good tee this morning then wrangled all the kids to the car. Even Tracey liked how dashing I looked in my latest purchase, as evidenced by her comment upon seeing her hunk-a-spunk wearing it.
“I like your shirt,” she said.
In fact, I like my latest tee so much I put a photo of it up on Instagram and on my personal Facebook page. Then I waited for the praise to pour in.
Instead…the second person to comment focused more on the word SWAG on my tee than the wonderfully golden Stormtrooper in sunnies.
‘Single White And Gay?’ the Facebook message read.
‘Tell me that isn’t what SWAG means,‘ I commented back. Followed quickly by, ‘Actually, tell me it is.’
Because let’s face it, it’s hell funnier that way.
And Google seemed mad keen to confirm this particular acronym (although in the interests of full disclosure there were lots of others as well).
On a related topic, as I seem to be leaning towards the dark side of retail therapy (to quote Seinfeld, not that there’s anything wrong with that) I’m going to stop buying tees because I think it’s safe to say I don’t want to stuff anything else into my closet.
I might run out of room.
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“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”