A Girl Thing

emily pet rock big family little income-1

“Someone in there?” asked Master24, tapping on the door of the bathroom.

In this house it’s not just a courtesy to knock before you enter the bathroom if the door is shut, it’s the sort of thing you only forget to do once.

“I am,” Miss9 called out.

“Me too!” yelled Miss4 excitedly.

“We’ve still only got the one toilet in there, right?” Master24 asked through the door.

Well, we do if you leave out the number of times over the years our kids have pee’d or poo’d in the bath.

“I’m not on the toilet,” explained Miss4. “I’m just watching.”

I don’t understand why women want to go to the bathroom together. I used to think it was so they could talk about guys without the threat of being overheard, but being with Tracey soon put paid to that notion. One of the most annoying things about my wife is her desire to want to talk to me when I’m on the throne. Maybe it’s because I can’t get away, so she has a captive audience. But if that’s it, I have to say I think it’s a hell of a price to pay for my attention. I mean I don’t want to gross anyone out but most times even I don’t want to be in there with me.

“Why are you watching her?” asked Master24.

He’s been out of the house for a number of years and seems to have forgotten there aren’t always sensible answers to these sorts of questions when you’re under six. Or nine. Or fifty. In these situations, I usually just shrug and walk off.

“I woke Mummy up,” Miss4 called through the door.

“Seems like a drastic sort of punishment,” I heard Master24 say.

It wasn’t a punishment – he was simply lacking context.

But also, thank you! That’s exactly how I feel about being in the bathroom when someone’s on the loo. Must be a guy thing.

We haven’t started using odours as a punishment in this house – although we are prone to laying down fart traps around the house and laughing hysterically when someone walks into one. Neither was Tracey training her daughters up for nightclubbing girl etiquette. In fact, hadn’t told Miss4 to go watch Miss9 on the toilet.

As Miss9 had woken Tracey up five minutes before Miss4 came in, meaning my wife knew she was awake, what Tracey had actually said was for Miss4 to go lie in bed with her big sister.

“But she wasn’t in bed,” explained Miss4 to her big brother. “So I’m in here watching her.”

“That makes no sense,” I heard Master24 mutter as he walked into the kitchen to make himself a cuppa while he waited.

Yes, it does, mate. Because girls.

emily red dress-1
Tracey’s using her newfound energy & time off and taken over providing photos for the blog. You probably haven’t noticed 😉

emily red dress-2

“Raising a family on little more than laughs”

Sharing. It really does make a difference. Thanks.


  • My girls told me that if I speak to them again when they are in the loo, (public) they will pretend they are being abducted and will scream their heads off.

  • Ha. I had surgery on Wednesday and I really really needed to pee afterwards (no small feat when anaesthetic is wearing off and you have forgotten how your body parts work). A nurse set up a bedpan on a wheelchair like some kind of makeshift toilet (behind nothing but a curtain in a shared ward). I couldn’t believe my own shock when the only way I could successfully do my number ones was to ask Mr Unprepared to hold my hands the whole time. I don’t know why. It just helped. I can’t even explain. It’s been a few days but we’re still married and he hasn’t claimed to be having any nightmares so I think we’ll be OK hehe.

What do you think?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.