A ‘Money Can’t Buy’ Birthday Present

“How old are you really?” the kids wanted to know as we raced around getting them ready for school.

Well, Tracey raced around. I’d taken up a celebratory birthday slouch against the kitchen bench near the coffee machine.

I always struggle with how old I am. Not least because I still feel like a dumb teenager on the inside. That’s not a swipe at teenagers – I really was dumb back then.

I looked at my wife.

“Daddy’s reached a milestone,” she told the kids.

“Is that good?” asked Miss6.

“It is if you’re a baby…” said Tracey.

“That’s you then,” Master11 grinned at me.

“…but when you hit fifty, it’s not as much fun,” finished Tracey. She looked at me. “Is it.” It wasn’t a question.

I took a sip of my coffee.

“It’s okay so far.”

A fantastic day ensued, starting with dropping all our kids at their respective schools and ducking out for brunch with my folks and then lunch with friends, where a bunch of balloons arrived courtesy of my nephews so that everyone in the cafe knew I was 50.

“You sure I’m fifty? I don’t feel fifty,” I told Tracey, after she set me up with my very own cake smash – my first, because my childhood was normal – on the pretext of keeping her photographer’s eye in, but I suspect really just so she could have me pie-in-the-face myself. Of course I agreed, because cake.

“You’re not, you idiot.”

“Really?”

“No.”

“Then why is everyone telling me I’m fifty?”

“As a joke,” said Tracey.

“Oh,” I said. Seems not a lot has changed since I was a teenager – still dumb.  “So I’m really….”

“49.”

“YES!” I said, high-fiving myself. “I’m young again! That’s better than botox.”

Best present ever.

If the video had run for another ten seconds you’d have seen the bit where I yawned, then nearly choked as Miss9 took the opportunity to shove a piece of toast into my gaping mouth. Tracey says that bit was the highlight of the morning.

“Raising a family on little more than laughs”

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