Toys Don’t Cry


 With Tracey away shooting a wedding all day and most of the evening Saturday, I did what any father left alone with five young kids would do when there’s miserable weather outside.

“Who wants a movie marathon?!” I asked the kids.

Oh, yeah. Who’s the favourite parent?

In the end we settled for all three Toy Story movies, back to back. I was thrilled because Toy Story makes me laugh (thank you Joss Whedon), but also because the other option on the table was a Barbie movie marathon.

Tracey loves the Toy Story trilogy. They make her cry. Sarah McLachlan’s When Somebody Loved Me reduced her to tears the first time she saw it: the second time she saw it: the third time: when we talked about it just now.

But me, I just laugh. Buzz Lightyear is hilarious – some of the best acting Tim Allen’s ever done. And Mr Potato Head – classic. 

I don’t see why you would want to cry in a comedy.

When she wells up I’m always a sympathetic shoulder. Eventually.

“Mummy’s crying!” I’ll say while I point at her.

It’s fun. The kids love it.

“Why’s mummy crying?” they’ll ask me while they nearly crush her under their combined weight in a group hug.

“It’s a girl thing,” I tell them knowingly.

But sadly, with her at work, she wasn’t home on Saturday for us to mock.

While the kids lay under doonas and on mountains of pillows, I did the housework and read a book and played on the internet and kept up a steady stream of snacks and drinks, all the while enjoying the movies as much as they did.

By the time the third movie rolled around bedtime was approaching – we’d stopped between movies two and three for dinner and showers, so we were all set. I lay with them on the lounge.

“She’s crying! Dad, Molly’s crying!” said Master8.

We’d arrived at an especially poignant moment in the movie when Andy is giving his toys away.

“Be qu-qu-quiet!” said Miss6 between sobs.

“Dad!” said Master8, pointing an accusing finger at his sister the whole time he jumped up and raced over to where I was sitting. “She’s crying! Dad? What’s wrong with your eyes?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled. “I’ve got something in them.”

“Yeah, right. Tears!’ shouted Master8, his accusing finger now pointing at me.

“You are crying!” said Miss9. She was up and standing with Master8, a big grin on her face too.

I ignored them and wiped under my glasses with my sleeve.

“Come here, Molster,” I said to Miss6. “You look like you could do with a cuddle.”

But the boy wasn’t prepared to let me off without a bit of a dig.

“I thought only girls cry in movies,” said Master8. “Maybe next time you’d prefer us to have a Barbie marathon, Dad.”

As I comforted Miss6, mentally I raised my fist at the heavens and screamed, ‘Goddamn you, Pixar, with your superior, well rounded, emotional, awesome story telling abilities!’

I mean, come on, I don’t want to be a girl.

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  • I cried during Toy Story Three, in the end, when they all held hands as they were slowly being lowered into that fiery furnace… who didn’t/wouldn’t? We love Toy Story and the Ice Age movies for our Movie Marathons. Not a Barbie movie in our place though… and we have five girls… We must be doing something wrong?

  • Bruce, there is nothing wrong with being a girl and there is nothing wrong with crying, even at a sad movie.

    Consider yourself lectured.

  • Actually Bruce, you don’t have to put that comment up. Or this one.
    I still have the emotional scars from being teased by my brother about crying at movies. I sobbed my eyes out when Molly died on A Country Practice. And I hate the idea that Josh knows that boys don’t cry. Because my brother learned not to cry and he’s a complete sociopath.

    • Karen, you’ve guilted me out. I bended the truth a little in that post. I cry all the bloody time at movies. But the kids like to tease me. Growing up (twenties) I couldn’t watch Highway to Heaven with Michael Landon because I’d be heaving by the end. V sad. But I do think myself stupid for doing it so I stick to comedies. And don’t worry about Josh, he’ll grow up just as big a girl as his dad (not that there’s anything wrong with that) 😉

  • Loving the Joss love in this post! He’s just joined Twitter.
    I conveniently find something else to do during the sad bits of kids movies, my two are merciless when it comes to mummy crying!! Great post as always.

  • Toy Story was a wonderful series until watching it as a young adult a group of friends decided the name “Woody” was hilarious. There’s a particular line that sounds really bad when this is pointed out. It’s never been quite the same since.

  • I agree with Tracey, that song sets me off every time. I’m making my way through the BFLI posts from the beginning, finding your stories very addictive ??

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