The Oldest Trick In The Book

I just got lucky.

“Aggh,” Tracey moaned.

I ignored her.

“Aggh!” she moaned a little more pointedly in my direction.

“Problem?” I asked, stopping what I was doing and raising an eyebrow.

“There is actually,” she said, and I was concerned her tone seemed to indicate it was somehow my fault. She indicated her screen. “I can’t get onto the website. I’ve been trying for two hours.”

I must say, I was rather pleased there was no way I could be blamed for this. Clearly her intonation was general frustration rather than the finger pointing kind. Watch how quickly I changed that.

“Do you want me to try on my computer?” I asked in what I thought was a super helpful way. I opened up a new window. And I’m sure she would have been super impressed I was being super helpful if I hadn’t gone on to ask a super dumb question. “What are you trying to do?”

There were a couple of moments where her eyes locked on mine with all the grip and violence of a pro wrestler.

“The same thing I’ve been complaining about all night,” she said testily. I nodded in what I hoped was a convincing manner. “Remember? The ‘up to 50% off’ sale? I showed you the email?”

“Ahhh,” I added, nodding even more rigorously.

No bells were ringing. No pennies were dropping.

“The book sale, Bruce.”

Ding-a-ling. Finally.

“But that was hours ago,” I said. “Are you still going?” I looked over her shoulders at her screen. There was a little rainbow coloured circle going around and around. “Looks like the sale’s been a bit more popular than they can handle. Why don’t you look them up on Facebook and ask them if they’re aware of the problem.”

“Good idea.”

No, it wasn’t.

About a minute later I felt rather than saw Tracey come towards me and turned to face her just as two hands clamped onto my face. Then, just as I was wondering what on Earth I’d done wrong now, her lips planted themselves firmly and rather wonderfully against mine.

It wasn’t a good idea: It was a GREAT idea. Even if I do say so myself.

“They’re having a book sale here tomorrow,” Tracey told me a few moments later when I asked her what I’d done – primarily so I could try and repeat it down the track.

“Here? In Geelong?”

“Yep, right here,” grinned Tracey.

“That’s fantastic,” I agreed. Not because I wanted to buy any books so much as because I was off the hook. “We can all go. Whereabouts in Geelong?”

“Right here,” she repeated. By which I soon realised she meant, ‘Between us and the toilet block.’

So about fifty meters from where we were parked.

In fact, the book sale she was so desperate to get to so she could buy reading books for the kids was being set up for the following morning even as Tracey had been trying to get their website to play nice. And, rather wonderfully, she’d found out about it because of me.

“How lucky is that?” I enthused.

For both of us, as it turned out.

Raising a family on little more than laughs

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