The Dump Run


I prefer to watch DVD’s withe the kids rather than go to the movies. There’s just something nice about being able to run to the kitchen or the loo anytime you want and not miss much that works for me.

Recent bouts of sickness have meant late nights and so much interrupted sleep it could probably better be described as a series of naps, but now the bugs and snotty noses have cleared up, Tracey decided to take the four older kids out of the house while Miss2 was in daycare.

“How was your day?” I asked my wife when I arrived home from work.

Her face should have warned me to steer clear of the topic. Clearly she’d had a shit day. How shit?

“I got water in my eye,” screamed Miss4 while Tracey and the kids were at the local shopping centre earlier in the day. They were in the bathrooms. Normally water in the eye isn’t a problem. After all, it’s just water, right?

The trouble here was that the water wasn’t from when Miss4 washed her hands, but from when she flushed.

“The water from the toilet is in my eye!” she screamed at Tracey, flapping her hands about and clearly not sure if she should rub her eyes.

To give credit where it’s due though, at least Miss4 doesn’t muck about on the loo. Not like Miss10 and Master9 who both like to read or watch Youtube while they’re dropping the kids at the pool (I don’t know where they pick up these habits).

The next stage of Tracey’s toilet tour of Gympie was at the office for the local paper, the Gympie Times. This time it was Miss6’s turn, although Miss4 still got in on the act.

“Mum!” yelled Miss6 from her porcelain poo-perch. “Tell her to stop peeking under the door!”

But finally they made it to the local movie cinema for the highlight of the day, where they were booked to see Rio 2.

“Was the movie any good?” I asked my wife in an attempt to change the subject to something cheerier. Although I suspect I won’t like Rio 2 because it doesn’t have any Lego men (specifically Lego Batman) in it.

“Who’d know,” said Tracey. It seems the dunny runs kept her busy there too. “I just couldn’t believe how all day it was one after another after another, with generally just enough time between to move on to the next venue. Or for me to get back to my seat. I don’t think two kids went to the loo at the same time!”

Tracey seemed a bit surprised by this, but I’m not. I suspect having only one toilet in our house has meant their bowels have been forced to arrange a schedule of their own.

It’s a big part of why I prefer to watch movies at home. Less shit to deal with.

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“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”

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