No Take Backs

See the ol’ girl in the photo above? That’s my brother, Shane’s, wife.

The other lady, the one in the dark blue dress, is her gorgeous mother, Maxine.

Maxine went to a doctor this week for a check up. Just the usual sort of thing where they give you the once over to see if there’s any chance the kids can ship you off to a home this year.

I’m told she passed.

But I’m also told the question and answer section was perhaps a little more revealing than she would have liked.

Probably, more than the doctor would have liked too.

What you need to understand about Maxine is she’s wonderful. She’s warm and chatty and laughs easily and knows how to look after the kids when you want to go out on a date night. Essentially, everything you’d want in a mother-in-law.

I’ve known her for over twenty years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in a foul mood. You simply know where you stand with Maxine. She’s bursting with no surprises.

Or so the family thought.

The doctor began asking her a series of question to confirm her mental state.

“What day is it?”

That sort of thing.

I confess, when this story was being told to me I wondered if maybe he’d asked her who the Prime Minister is at the moment and I was going to jump to her defence. Because unless you checked the papers before you stepped out in the morning, who would bloody know?

But the problem came from another, equally seedy direction.

“I want you to make up a sentence for me,” the doctor instructed, “using a verb and a noun.”

hmmm, thought Maxine. A verb. That’s a doing word.

And then she said the first thing which came into her head.

Actually, let’s go with the first thing which popped into her mind, because…well, you’ll see.

Debbie does Dallas,” said Maxine confidently.

Their eyes met – I’m assuming awkwardly.

“I don’t know where that came from,” Maxine blurted out to the doctor. “Can I please have another go?”

Better keep her home another year, Shane. I don’t think they could keep up with her yet.

Raising a family on little more than laughs

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