Are These Grounds For An Argument?


“Is that for me?” Tracey asked me this morning as I made myself a coffee.

“Not this one,” I muttered. “I didn’t sleep real well last night.”


“Are you kidding me?” My wife squinted menacingly at me. “Are you deliberately trying to piss me off? Are you joking? You’re joking. You must be.”

“No, I…just tired….didn’t sleep well,” I stammered as I mentally worked out the quickest escape route out of the house.

“Oh, really,” said my wife, her voice almost a whisper. “So you remember when a couple of the kids came in to our bed?”


“No, you wouldn’t. They slept on my side. Do you remember hearing the cat jumping at the door handle, making a racket trying to get out of the sleep out?”

“Not as such, I-“

“Do you remember,” asked Tracey, cutting me off, “when the cat actually got out and came into our room?”

This was a real worry. Minion, our cat, always purrs at Tracey while I seem to end up with the other end. The idea that in my sleep…


“Do you remember Minion hiding under our bed?”

“Would you like a coffee?” I asked my wife, hoping to distract her.

“Yes. Do you remember me crawling under the bed to get the cat so I could put him back in the sleep out?” Tracey’s eyebrows were nearly one with her hair line. “It took nearly ten minutes.” Her eyebrows successfully docked with her hair. “I was calling his name the whole time. Right under your burping bum.”

“You can have mine,” I said, passing her the coffee I’d just made. “I’ll make another one.”

“Thank you,” she said, taking my coffee and smiling sweetly.

“Wait…was that all just to get my coffee?”

She said no, but…damn, she’s good.

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“Raising a family on little more than laughs”

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