Tracey is back living with this family and I’m as happy as a sloth in a hammock shop. Everything is wonderful again, and we are determinedly moving forward.
Although there is this one unexpected thing we’ve noticed…
“Mum,” exclaimed Miss12 after the first night Tracey was home, “I heard you pass wind last night!”
“Heard, or felt?” asked Master10, pretending he was in an earthquake.
They have been massive.
Tracey says her and another patient (from another room I might add) were effectively in competition with each other. Although she never saw him she knows he was a man because, like her, he’d trumpet, then call out his apologies.
And you know how I’ve previously alluded to the kids high living and applauding whenever their Mum lets Fluffy off the chain? Well, at the moment Fluffy’s bite is as bad as her bark.
“Aghh!” yelled Miss8 from the back of the car. “What’s that smell?!”
I glanced over at Tracey.
“It can’t be me,” she said, and I confess my face betrayed I had doubts. “I popped over five minutes ago,” she continued.
“Honey, it’s as thick as molasses at the moment,” I told her. I usually go for the old Chum phrase it’s so chunky you can carve it, but I wanted to convey movement. “It would only just have managed to work it’s way back there.”
“It has viscosity,” Miss8 called out, impressing me with a word I’ve never used in a sentence in my life. And in context.
The poor darling can’t help it, and the last thing we want is for her to start holding them in, but since coming home from the hospital her fluffs do have legs. To compensate at the holiday home, I’ve purchased king sized can of Glen 20, but we all hate the smell. Plus we can’t very well wander around Chermside shopping centre with it, so Tracey’s resorted to shuffling off just as soon as the bomb doors opened, leaving a trail of shoppers accusing each other of mischief and, I daresay, confused maintenance staff looking for the sewerage leak.
Of course, unless they’re left in a room with it, the kids are finding it absolutely hilarious. Master10 has even taken to calling his mum Bubble-Bum. Like Tracey’s current output, I hope it sticks.
Despite the trail of gagging shoppers we left behind us, it was just nice to wander about the shopping centre all together, picking out some last minute gifts for the Devereaux family Secret Santa tomorrow. Tracey even managed to purchase herself a few things. She needed to. I forgot to pack her a bag before I left home so all she has are the few items her sister took her to the hospital.
And while it’s important to have undies, bras and something to throw over them, after such a harrowing couple of months it’s also nice to have the odd thing which simply makes you feel special. Which was why we ended up in the perfume aisle at Myer.
“That’s a good idea, Mummy. Buy yourself some nice perfume,” announced Miss8 sweetly and matter-of-factly, but also very, very loudly. “You need something to spray around when you fart.”
Yep, everything is wonderful at the moment. So long as we’re moving forward.
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“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”
Just had a great chuckle..
And as the Irish say.. you can’t hold what’s not in your hand.
This makes me feel better about what just happened in super cheap… Though I can only blame lactose intolerance and a husband who doesn’t understand “I need to go now!”
You know what they always say….”It’s better out then in” In Tracy’s case it’s even more true.
Love it..had a good chuckle. Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas!
She should be super proud of those farts, she’s worked bloody hard for them.
I was laughing so hard people at the cafe started looking at me strangely. If only they new ! Great stuff.
Never thought I’d be congratulating someone on their farting prowess! Such good news (the coming home, not the deadly fumes) – what a great Christmas you’re all going to have.
You guys are all absolutely tops and wondrous. Can’t believe that Tracey is home for Christmas! How good was that Dr who said nah, I’m going to keep on trying. Always get a second opinion folks. It’s amazing how they vary on prognosis, both with children and adults. Oh, there are so many people so happy for you. You all deserve a medal!
He’s tops! They all are. But even the surgeon who didn’t think she’d make it (he still can’t quite fathom how it all suddenly went in Tracey’s favour) spent about five hours in theatre giving her the best possible chance. We really are very fortunate in this country to have the system we do and the quality of medical professionals. You have a Merry (or sober) Christmas, Anne 😀
I suggest using a charming phrase that my recent visitor from the UK employed “Don’t mind me and my trumpy bottom.”
I let one rip tonight and silent but deadly was definitely it’s name. It malingered in the air for ages. Felt so bad for the hubby.
Keep tooting, Tracey!
I am so glad Tracey has made it home for Christmas! She has been so strong. I hope 2016 is all smooth sailing for your family.
It’s the smell of success! 😀 I’m so happy for both of your and your family. Having Tracey home is the best Christmas present, ever!