Give It Some Gas


Sometimes my children manage to make sounds far too big for their little bodies.

“Holy dooley!” exclaimed Tracey when Miss3 did what I’d normally refer to as a toot or bum burp.

Miss3 grinned up at her mum. “My bum’s talking,” she said.

Amusingly, a similarly themed conversation was at that moment going on in the car.

“Dad!” said Master8 from the front passenger seat, while Miss9 and Miss6 pretended to be disgusted.

“I’ve been making that one for you guys all afternoon,” I told the kids.

“It stinks,” yelled Miss9. And then after a brief pause. “It still stinks!”

“Hey! One sniff each. Don’t be greedy,” I admonished them.

I think all dads worth their salt have a line they use. My dad’s was ‘Give it some choke, it nearly started.’ Of course, before any of my kids laughed at this I’d have to explain what a choke was.

Oddly, I didn’t believe my mum passed wind until I was in my teens and one popped out to greet me while we were watching telly. I was horrified and thought it very unladylike. Clearly, up until then she’d had her bum set to stealth mode and I suspect she was a proponent of the ‘silent but deadly’ school of thought. In hindsight, I also suspect this was the real reason we kept a dog.

A personal favourite of mine is ‘did something crawl up your bum and die?’ while Tracey prefers to ask if anyone can smell petrol. If you were operating under the delusion we were in any way classy, I apologize.

Anyway, there sure isn’t any of that hold them in and leave the room nonsense in my house, and this attitude is paying dividends with new skills being learned. I mean, I don’t think anyone is going to get invited to the Queensland Conservatorium of Music for their rendition of Advance Australia Fair, but it seems we’re moving towards whole sentences now – Tracey’s conversation with Miss3 was showing.

“And what was your bum saying?” Tracey wanted to know.

“You’re the best mummy in the world,” Miss3 told her.

Given the source, Tracey isn’t sure if it’s a complement or not.


I’ve told you ours, now cough up – what does your family say when they let fly? 🙂

When not over here, Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his Big Family Little Income Facebook Page. Come join us 🙂

 ”Raising a family on little more than laughs.”


  • Bahahaha. My husband likes to ask if someone stood on a duck (especially after he’s let one rip in the shower). I like to talk about my butt trumpet playing some new notes.
    Yeah…we’re not that classy either.
    I can’t help it. Fart jokes are just too funny. It’s like you try to be better than that, but no-one can.

    • I’m still trying to work out if I’m extremely unlucky or my kids extremely evil – inevitably when I pick one of them up they will fart on my arm.

  • With my husband its always a ‘Nice’ for good ones, or hes blaming the rest of us… Whoops so do I.. but mine are generally the silent ones you do in public and stealthily move away….

    • Tracey’s mum did that to her once – left her at the end of a dead end shopping aisle to take the blame for her dirty work when the next person walked down lol Twenty years later Tracey still has a go at her for it 🙂 We hold grudges here

  • You should read the book. Fartse . Its a childrens book about a man (true story) Who made a living farting musical concerts.

  • When you are walking and continue to do lots of little ones, we call that crop dusting. Especially good in a supermarket aisle.

  • Bubble bum, gets shouted when its noisy and a particularly low, long one gets called a bull frog. It’s funny now my 2.5 year old twins try to look for the frog

  • When we’re feeling polite, they’re called bottom burps or fluffs… If I (dad) let one rip it’s “frogs are big around here!”
    If mum lets one out, it’s blamed on dad, the cat or one of the triplets; whichever is closest or looking guilty 🙂

  • I haven’t laughed this hard in ages! Love “Give it some choke…”. I always love reading your blog, but this one was particularly funny. Thanks for the belly laugh. Heidi xx

  • I have 5 girls… Who mostly do their dad proud In The fart department… Usually, whoever does it asks the others “did you drop something?”

    Except miss 11 who hardly ever dos them…when she does she squeals excitedly “I farted!!” Like some badge of honour 🙂

    • Okay, so she’s my favourite already, poor thing. I’d suggest a two week program of daily cabbage and nightly salsa dip. That should bring her up to speed 😉

  • Haha… ours is either ‘squeaky floorboard’ or ‘where’s that bullfrog?’ (Sure to get mr3 looking anxiously around lol)

    There’s also a kids book about a kid who couldn’t fart (name escapes me) so his grandad makes this plastic thing that he uses to fart – and the book comes with the said toy! Loads of farts being done at our house after that lol

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