Does This Story Have a Ring To It?

Thank you to People’s Choice Credit Union for supporting our family by sponsoring this post.

I think in any profession you have that one story which makes you smile and/or cringe.

For me it was a loan request in my previous career as a banker (that’s banker with a b).

No one likes loans. They aren’t something which, when you look at the statement, gives you a warm fuzzy feeling. I’d say about the only time you like having a loan is when you first get the nod, and the absolute best thing about a personal loan is when you make that final payment. The rest of the time, they suck. That’s just a fact.

But…they do have their uses.

Without the odd personal loan I would have been walking to work most my life. With peak hour traffic, it was up to an hour in the car, but I suspect if I was walking I’d have had to leave the night before. Most of us wouldn’t be able to buy a car without borrowing for it, especially when we’re just starting out.

Personal loans, like having to wait for the kids to fall asleep before trying to sneak a chocolate, are annoyingly necessary.

The trouble can be, though, when people use them for things that aren’t necessary.

With this in mind…

Five reasons I would avoid a personal loan:

  1. I want to go overseas to see where people invented beer so I can hug them.
  2. The bank said no to my bestie and he really needs the latest iPhone and promises to pay me back.
  3. If I wanted to upgrade to a much bigger car because I’m insecure about a certain part of my body.
  4. Sales! Lots of sales! Leather tights have never been so cheap and they’re bound to come back into fashion…eventually. I’d like to be ready.
  5. To pay off my credit cards so I can load them up. One word: Etsy. Two words: eBay and Gumtree. Lots more words: Grays Online, Amazon, iTunes and Kickstarter.

Five reasons I have or might consider a personal loan:

  1. The family needs a new car because we’ve had yet another baby. Or I’ve left the handbrake off and it’s rolled down a hill into a power pole. Having kids without a car isn’t something I’d like to contemplate. Also, like The Hoff at a wine tasting, trips to the tip could be difficult and messy.
  2. An investment opportunity presents itself that involves both a brewery and hangover remedies. And a cheese factory. Hasn’t happened yet, but I’m still hopeful.
  3. If I wanted to do stuff to my house, like dig a bunker into the back yard, but didn’t want the expense of re-mortgaging or having someone tell me it might adversely affect my valuation.
  4. So I can keep my savings available for emergencies. When the brown stuff hits the fan that can often be the one time in your life you aren’t eligible for a new loan t see your through – something about not having an income.
  5. I want to go overseas to see where people invented beer so I can hug them.

Now having said all that, why you want a personal loan is none of my business, because I’m a blogger now and not a banker (with a b). But if you’re in the market, why not check out  People’s Choice Credit Union, they can help you get the personal loan that’s right for your needs with competitive interest rates and no monthly fees.  And by using their online calculator it can give you an idea about the level of repayments that you can afford. It’s very handy if you’re looking at refinancing your existing debts so they behave a little less aggressively with your family budget.

Which brings me back to my story from my banking days which I always think about when the topic of personal loans comes up.

“I need a loan,” a young bloke said as he approached the counter. He looked a bit stressed. “I need to buy an engagement ring.”

I congratulated him and, as you do, asked a few questions as I took some notes.

“How are you going to ask? Any big plans?”

“Oh, I’ve already asked her,” he said.

“So this is just so you can pick out a ring then,” I said. “Lovely.”

“Oh, we’ve bought the ring.”

My pen hung over the page.

“I don’t get it,” I admitted.

He sighed.

“She asked me to take the ring in yesterday to have it cleaned,” he said, “only my dog ate it. At least, I’m pretty sure it did. So I have to buy a new ring so I don’t have to tell her.”

“Can’t you just go through the dog’s poo?”

“Sure can,” he said. “Only we have three dogs and a few cows and a horse and live on five acres. I’ve spent the whole day walking about shovelling shit into a bucket of water and all I’ve found so far is half a peg. If she finds out what’s happened I’m a dead man, so I need to buy another ring, pronto.”

I never found out if he eventually found the old ring, but at least the new one was shiny and clean when his fiancé slipped it onto her finger a day or so later, so we’ll call that a win.

Long time readers will know the irony of this story in that I have since come to understand how it feels to lose your partner's engagement ring. And wedding ring.
Long time readers will know the irony of this story in that I have since come to understand how it feels to lose your partner’s engagement ring. Aaaaaand wedding ring.

Speaking of which…People’s Choice Credit Union have asked me to run a little comp. This is your chance to pick ups a $200.00 Prepaid VISA gift card. Simply respond to the statement below. Entries close 20/Nov/2016 and will be judged on creativity and amusement.

Good luck!

In the comments section of this blog post tell us your best smile or cringe worthy work story.

terms & conditions

Winner: Congratulations to Steph, winner of our competition for the best smile or cringe worthy work story. There were some crackers – I wish I had a dozen prizes to give away. I think you’ll agree though, Steph’s story is fantastic. 

Winning entry: 

Teaching had some crackers, but my favourite was when one of my kids yelled out to another student across the room

K: pass me the f-Ing pencil M
Me: oi K, that is NOT how we ask for something here
K: sorry miss… hey M, PLEASE pass me the f-ing pencil

and looked me so innocently for validation he was correct that I had to leave the room… 

I corrected him later..

Raising a family on little more than laughs


  • If you can’t get a comment to work here then put it in the BFli FB link you followed to this post and I’ll copy if over for you 🙂 Because I’m a sweetheart 😉

    • Well, as a youth worker, there have been quite a few. I guess most cringeworthy was walking into the female toilets to find two males together. Errr. One was seated and one was kneeling. Neither was pooping. I definitely did cringe.

    • I sent an email with a spelling error
      It seems if you leave an “o” out of accounts it gets a lot of attention ?

  • Well cringe worthy, interesting, amusing maybe, not quite sure…. in my first week working at a new job (local blockbuster store) .. I got asked where the ‘adult’ movies where, which i helped him with as much dignity as I could muster (considering DVD content) & then proceeded to help another man with finding some movies too then have him tell what a beautiful smile I had & would I go out with him?! All in the one day!… my fiancé (now hubby) had a very good laugh at my day .

  • Teaching had some crackers, but my favourite was when one of my kids yelled out to another student across the room

    K: pass me the f-Ing pencil M
    Me: oi K, that is NOT how we ask for something here
    K: sorry miss… hey M, PLEASE pass me the f-ing pencil

    and looked me so innocently for validation he was correct that I had to leave the room…

    I corrected him later..

    (Swearing removed out of habit)

    • Steph, you are the winner! We laughed hard at this the first time we read it and again when the judge was telling us he’d chosen yours. Congratulations!!! Message me at [email protected] and I’ll grab your details. Bruce

  • I was teaching an All About Me unit to my preschool class including learning the names of parts of our bodies arms, legs,ankles, elbows etc. To check their learning I was pointing to my body and getting kids to name parts. Ears check. Nose check. Neck check. Chest……. long pause and a quizzical almost coy look from one little boy…… “boobies??” He says. Technically correct!

  • I was working at the fancy restaurant in town when a gentleman came in and ordered a rare steak. Not a problem right the chefs always undercook steak they hate over cooking it. Wrong the apprentice over cooked it. So back to the kitchen we go for round 2 the chef this time no way he would ever over cook a steak. Yep wrong again he gets distracted and over cooks it a smidge. So now the gentlemans had enough and refuses to eat his steak or anything else for that matter and sits to watch his companions. Now while he’s sitting there thoroughly enjoying his evening 2 young ladies traipsed in with a byo bottle of champagne and sit at the next table, they request said bottle opened and whilst they giggled excitedly the cork was removed but unusually the cork could not be held and flew off into the back of yes you guessed it the gentlemans head. The lovely young lasses had shaken the bottle and miracle of miracles it had sought out our unhappiest patron ever (the chefs were quite pleased)

  • While studying at uni I was a relief staff member of a local childcare centre. A child we shall call ‘Sam’ had not gone number 2 for almost a week and his mum was getting worried. In the morning during drop off time she tells all staff members and also informs us that she gave Sam some laxatives just prior to arriving at the centre (how considerate of her, waiting until a kindy day).

    My shift had nearly finished and I was counting down the minutes until I was out the door l when I was called into Sam’s room. His teacher was about to go on lunch break and informed me that a child in the bathroom needed help. I could smell said child from a mile away. It came as no surprise that the child in question was Sam. Who, as it turns out, had finally been able to expel his weeks worth of backlog… from his head to his toes and all over the bathroom walls. (Thanks Sam’s Mum)

  • It’s really not my work story, its more my husband’s work but I was there and doing all the hard work!
    Four weeks ago, our 6th baby was born, our first boy after 5 darling daughters. I’ve had extremely fast labours so when that first contraction hit we knew it was time to pack up and head to the hospital. My husband works extremely hard and his work literally can’t last an hour without him. So we were on our way to the hospital and of course an urgent work call came through. He was doing his driving duty so had to answer via Bluetooth it was a 30 minute drive to the hospital and the call took up a rather large portion of that drive. I had to sit there silently through the contractions while squeezing my husbands leg as hard as I possibly could while he spoke to his client. We arrived at the hospital and my husband delivered our baby not even an hour later.

  • It was nearing Father’s Day and my Kindy class were making a special present for their Dad’s. We went around the class and each child had to complete the sentence “My Dad is AMAZING because…”.

    Abbie stands up and says “My dad is amazing because he gives me lots of cuddles”. Lila followed with “My dad is amazing because he reads me stories”. Then Jed stands up and with much enthusiasm shouts out ” MY DAD IS AMAZING BECAUSE HE HAS THE BIGGEST PENIS IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!”. After a bit of a chuckle we also found out that Jeds Dad takes him fishing so we rolled with that idea for the Father’s Day card. His poor mum was a little red faced at pick up time.

  • I was working as a youth worker and, was travelling with a group of teenagers in a small van. We got to our destination and there was a huge bus with another group and I yelled out to my teens: “oooohhh, look, fancy! they have a bus!” everyone – including those on the bus looked at me like i lost my head. in my defense, i thought the bus windows were closed and the only people to hear me would be my group and they were used to my sarcasm. this incident was filed under “conduct unbecoming of a youth leader” and often taken out and shared with other leaders-to-be to show them what not to do so they can hold up their heads and not wish the earth would swallow them up. ha ha.

  • Great post.. mine would have to be a co-worker who is still convinced my name is Melanie rather then Melissa. It’s been two years now so I feel way to awkward to correct her.
    This still occurs despite my email signature containing my correct name.

    • I could never remember a girl’s name at work (Taleea) so I always called her Miss T. Her nickname is Misty to this day.

  • From FB.
    Diana Mary Dureau: For my boss I had to go to the luggage section of David Jones in Melbourne ( many years ago) . The young man serving me had a strong English accent so I asked him how long he had been here (as you do). 3 days he answered. So I asked if he knew anyone here? ( he was pretty good looking). No..he said .but I have an introduction to one person. And with that he pulled my name out of his pocket. ( yes true story..he was a friend of my cousin in England.)

  • From FB.
    Emma Lee: Working at Woolworths when I was younger and seen a man walk in covered in home done tattoos. Covered head to toe in what can only be described as the greatest monstrosity I have ever witnessed, even included THREE swear words on his neck and a not so pleasant phrase to describe a woman. I said to my colleague “holy jeepers, he looks like he just escaped prison through an underground tattoo parlour”. Colleague said “That’s my brother” and he wasn’t lying. I ended up saying that I liked the aeroplane that was drawn on his arm in a chance to redeem myself but it turns out it was actually a drawing of a Porsche. That’s the day I learnt not to judge a book by its cover, turns out he hadn’t actually ever been in prison

  • From FB.
    Natalie Bailey: I’m a nurse. Many years ago, I had to administer a suppository to an elderly lady in the middle of the night. She was drowsy. English was not her first language. I explained what I was going to do. I rolled her onto her side, and as I inserted the suppository she said, “no Bruno. Not tonight.”
    I couldn’t look Bruno in the eye when he came to visit in the morning.

  • Oh golly, I’ve got a good one, but not sure I’d want to admit it!
    6 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was at work and also happened to have a bladder infection. Now unfortunately there was about a half an hour gap between shift changes where I was the only one in the shop. 5 minutes after the boss left for the day, I decided that I was busting for a wee. Anyone who has ever been pregnant AND/OR with a UTI knows that when you have to go, you HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW! With no toilet in the shop, it didn’t occur to me in my panicked state to just close up with a ‘Back in 5’ sign on the door, and I desperately tried to hold on until the 2nd person arrived. I failed.
    Luckily (?) the 2nd person was actually my younger sister, who needed to be dropped off, and so when they arrived I called out and my mum and sister walked into the store room to see me bawling my eyes out standing in a puddle. With me a right state, Mum cleaned up and called the boss to let him know that there had been an ‘incident’.
    I went home to clean up with the intention of coming back, but my boss very kindly told me to just have the night off and he pulled a double.
    So.. that was one of the worst moments of my whole pregnancy, but then, that’s one of the points isn’t it? To come out the other end with stories worth telling 😉

  • Back when I had got my first job (at 15) i hadnt had much experience with other peoples accents, so when a guy came up with a super strong accent, i wasn’t able to understand what he wanted, and after asking him to repeat himself several times we had to wait for my boss to come back and help. It turned out afterwards that he was a regular, and seeing him every week after that was just super awkward for a long time

  • I work as a nanny and trust me kids say the funniest stuff!! One day I was looking after some kids and I had bought them something special while at the shops. I handed the older child hers and she thanked me. I handed the younger child hers and all I heard was her bottom toot quite loudly. Then without skipping a beat she stated…. “My bottom just said thank you for me!!” Made my day!!!

  • When i was pregnant with my second child i worked in the warehousenof the local hospital packing and delivering there consumables. We had 3 different parts of the department and you could guarantee that everytime i had to go to the very back one i had to be sick and i could never make it to the bathrooms down the front. my poor work mates (all male too) had to put up with my all day sickness for 5 months at least. luckily we stocked those vomit bags they use in the wards i carried them in my pockets after the the first few times of being sick all over the floors.

  • I was working in Prep helping a little girl with her writing during small group time. Suddenly she gave an almighty sneeze and proceeded to cover from her nose to her mouth with thick, gooey, green, bubbly mucus. I told her to don’t move while I quickly dashed off to get a tissue. I came back suprised to find her face clean but the girl opposite her was looking aghast and repeatedly moaningover and over again “Tina ate the bubbles. Tina ate the bubbles. ” There may or may not have been some rocking back and forth. Tina just got on with her writing like nothing had happened but the other girl was useless for the rest of the session, she was so traumatised. (Name changed.)

  • Took my baby into work while I was on leave to show my class (I’m a teacher) baby was pulling the front of my toy and a very helpful little girl informed me (and the whole class in the process) that that meant he wanted my titties….. cue giggles from the boys, shock horror that she would say that word from some other students and holding back laughter from the other teachers and me ? Luckily I don’t have to teach those boys again!

  • I once declared something to be “as boring as reading the bible”. My boss’s boss was an extremely religious man, heard me, and got very offended. I got all the crap jobs for quite some time after that. And a stern talking to about appropriate workplace banter. I saved rolling my eyes until I went to take a break. Too many cameras to see me and end up getting myself fired if I did it inside the building.

  • I worked in retail, and I often had to kneel to stock shelves. I literally rolled my eyes and cringed every time a “hilarious” customer would “joke”: ‘say a prayer for me while you’re down there.’ ‘Scuse me while I don’t crack up laughing 😉

  • I was working in a jewellery store north of Brisbane around five years ago. One day, a man comes in and says that he thinks he’s found gold in his yard and would I mind taking a look. Now, I wasn’t (and still am not) a gemologist by any means but this did pique my interest. I said sure and the man reached for his pocket. He pulls out a ziplock bag of mud with a jar lid in it (the scooping device I assume). He then held it up to the light at a very particular angle and started moving his hands back and forth so the mud would catch the light. All I could see was some mud but apparently there was something sparkly in it (which really could have been anything… likely not gold). I told him that he really should talk to a gemologist and he went on his way.

    I often think about shiny mud guy and what he is up to now. Maybe he made a fortune and is living in a mansion thanks to his shiny mud!

  • From FB.
    Kylie Johnstone: My cringeworthy story is from my job as an at home mum… Once took my (then 3yr old) son to McDonald’s for breakfast. He immediately needed the toilet, so my (then) boyfriend took him in. Eldest child then proceeded to lock the cubicle. When he was done, not knowing how to unlock it, he climbed under the door.

    Later, I let him loose in the playground, asked my (idiot) boyfriend to watch him for a minute. Came back and my son was missing. Frantically looked for him everywhere. Then he reappeared…He’d gone to the toilet by himself. Found the cubicle shut, and problem solved… Basically, he sat his butt into a urinal, took a dump, had no toilet paper, so he wiped his bum with his underwear, and left, looking for me, in maccas, with NO pants on, covered in poop, during the breakfast rush…

  • From FB.
    Aleisha Andersen: The company I was working for had a long time client who I had only ever had phone and email contact with. This client had a unisex name and so for a few years I went off the sound of the voice and assumed the client was female. Finally got the chance to meet and turns out he was a man…I had spoken to him like I would a female client and had even made jokes about ‘us women in the construction industry’ sticking together. To this day my face still burns when I think about it

  • From FB.

    Vicki Polley: Many years ago!!
    Muster time in Gympie and not every year does it rain but this particular year it was flooding. And my son had just got his bus license. So they called him up to drive the bus from Amamoor to the Muster through the flooded creek as cars could not get through. Once he arrived and unload his passenger’s he calls me up saying, Mum I must of had someone very important on my bus! And I said why do you say that. Well everyone was looking at him taking photos of him and when he got off he had plastic bags on his feet (protecting his shoes from all the mud). So I asked do you know who it was and he said, I think they said Troy something? ? Oh I said Troy Cassar-Daley. He said well I didn’t know who he was. And I said it’s OK mate I wouldn’t know what he looked like either. But we all did have a good laugh about it. It’s a good memory of Gympie Muster.

  • From FB.
    Ann Ridge: My first job after school was as a cleaner/personal carer at a men’s accommodation house for some lovely elderly gents. One of my jobs was to shower the men and I will never forget the day I had to shower Mr K who was vision impaired and also a little deaf. As he undressed and entered the shower he felt the shower chair which was in reality little more than a toilet seat on a frame. Mr k says “O I’ve just got to go to the toilet” I’m on the outside yelling ” No Mr K that’s not the toilet, it’s the shower” ….”what’s that”…”it’s the shower, it’s the SHOWER, ITS THE SHOWER!!!!”
    Too late, he’d done the biggest poo I’d ever seen in my life….on the floor of the shower.
    I had to get a shovel from the garden to deal with it….
    34 years later and I’ve never seen a poo that compares!!

  • From FB.
    Tamie Matthews: Worked at Ayers Rock Resort for a while and let’s just say some tourists leave their brains at home when the go on holidays and some staff like to amuse themselves, my more memorable moments are a guest asking if a risotto was a traditional dish of the aboriginal people? Do you see a rice paddy here drew a few laughs from his friends. Also, quite often the moon looks quite large out there and a rather intelligent American asked if that was the same moon they had in America? We also got asked a lot about the sunset over the rock and where we had the spotlights hidden? Yes, that’s right, we have a very long extension cord and we hide the spots behind some spinafex. We also used to make up a wide variety of stories like we got catapulted in from Alice each day to work. Amazing what people will believe.

  • From FB.
    Bec Ryan: I worked in a call centre which necessitated asking their security questions for identification, questions that the customer sets up themselves. Received a call from an older lady. Advised I would be asking her questions and she said oh ok, I’ll try my best but my husband set them up (frowned upon, but anyway). Ok so here we go. First question pops up “who has been your best lover of all time”. She giggles. So do I, somewhat nervously. She says a name that is incorrect. I pause (assuming she gave her husbands name, as we already established he set up her questions). It’s incorrect I say, she says oh he’s probably put himself. Try my husbands name. Husbands name worked. So I asked, who was the first name? Oh dear he was the most lovely Italian man, the things he could do with his tongue!

  • From FB.
    Katya Galley: I was working in a restaurant and one night I was looking after a table where one of the guests was using crutches. I didn’t seat them at the table and when I first greeted them the crutches were leaning up against a wall and everyone was sitting down. The man asked if it was ok to leave the crutches there, or if they were in my way. They were fine. The table had a great night and all was good. At the end of the night the man with the crutches came up to the bar to pay. It was a high bar (about my chest hight), so I couldn’t see below his waist. While his credit card was being processed I was making small talk with him. I asked him why he was using crutches ‘what silly thing did he do’, thinking he’d say something like he sprained his ankle… He said that he was blown up in the war! I laughed a little, thinking he was joking. He laughed too! Anyway, as he was walking out the restaurant door to leave I saw that HE ONLY HAD ONE LEG!!!! Oh gosh! I could have died!

  • I work in child care. One day, while I was pregnant, a baby milk spewed on the carpet. Usually this would be fine and I could just clean it up. However, one of my Co-workers was not so good and began dry reaching, the sound of which triggered my morning sickness. It was left to our other staff member to clean up the carpet whilst I ran to make a mess in the staff toilet.

  • I was working in a takeaway shop, and I turned on the air conditioner just as the first customer of the day walked through the door. To my utter horror and embarrassment, there was a very loud thumping noise and the shop was full of feathers flying through the air. Seems a bird had gotten itself stuck in the air conditioning. The customer gamely helped me clean everything up, ordered his lunch and became a regular.

  • When i was a young property manager i arrived at a unit to do a routine inspection, the tenant a man in his 50s looked a little pale and said he was having chest pains, i said i would reschedule but he was insistent i do it and then he’d take himself to the doctors. I scurry round trying to get it done quickly all the while he is turning greyer and greyer. Finish up and full of concern think ill offer to drive him to the hospital except half way through i get my words all muddled up and insted offer to ‘ride him all the way to the hospital’ hahaha if he wasn’t actually having a heart attack he probably did after that!

  • I was 14yrs old at the time and was working at a local pizza place. A customer walked in and just stood near the door, I called out “excuse me sir, can I help you with anything?” Only to realise by the daggers being shot at me that it was actually a woman. I ran out the back and made someone else serve her. I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life.

  • From FB.
    Leah Hayes: managed several restaurants in Brisbane many years ago and my best complaint was from a gentleman (and I use the term loosely) who had been extremely rude to his wife the whole time they were there … we had full length plate glass windows and he insisted on a window table… He marched straight passed the waitresses into the kitchen to yell very loudly at me that the tableclothes weren’t long enough as some passers by had busted his wife under the table performing what could loosely be called wifely duties!!! He had dragged her into the kitchen with him and I have never seen a woman so embarrassed in my life ….. I felt so sorry for her … sorry not pg xx

  • From FB.
    Michelle Jordan: My hubby and I own a business in the mines which requires him to go away throughout QLD to work. This particular job took him out the Lockyer Valley Way. At the end of his particularly long hitch he was driving the 6 hour drive home. Well, all the fruit and veg stands got the better of him and started him thinking. He’s about 3 hours into the drive home when myself and one of our workers Tom get a text message – “What do you call Tom minus 2 toes?” “Tomatoes”. Greatest Dad joke ever!!

  • From FB.
    Jenni Bate: I’m an archaeologist and was on a survey with some colleagues along a creek line. We had just climbed down from a ridge line, leaving our gear up on the ridge, and sat on the creek bank to record a site, when I said to my colleague “oh my, there’s something going down my pants…” being a very humid area and along a creek line, a leech had decided to make a dive for my butt crack.

    I had three choices – try and get it out myself and risk pushing it further down; leave it there and get the salt that was in my bag 100m away up a nearly vertical ridge line, and get it out myself after it had attached to whatever took its fancy (?); or get my colleague to fish it out before it attached.

    Guess which I chose?

  • I work in a supermarket fresh produce section. A conversation with a customer went a lil something like this:

    Her: why do these potatoes have dirt on them?
    Me: those are brushed potatoes
    Her: what are they brushed with
    Me: (looks blankly but recovers well) “dirt”
    Her: well that’s ridiculous, why would you take a perfectly white potato and rub dirt all over it?
    Me: (looks really blankly, but again recovers well) “oh they dont brush the dirt onto the potatoes, they brush the dirt off the potatoes”
    Her: well that’s not right because they still have dirt on them. If they brushed the dirt off them then there wouldn’t be any dirt on them would there
    Me: first they brush the potatoes, then they wash the potatoes
    Her: these aren’t washed, they have dirt on them
    Me: some people prefer to buy brushed potatoes and wash them themselves because they keep a bit longer
    Her: if people want to keep potatoes they should just buy washed ones and put some dirt on them at home
    Me: (looks blankly, stays looking blankly, never recovers)

  • Was babysitting for mum and dad a few months back, and my little brother (13) told me he felt funny in his tummy. Thought he was just trying to stay up late and sent him to bed. Five seconds later I hear “oh no” I get up to look and find mr 13 standing next to vomit and his pants a bit saggy.

    Needless to say that night involved a bucket and a bit more time on the toilet than needed.

    And I had the clean up.

  • At 15 I was working as a waitress in a fancy city restaurant. The Grand Prix was on and the track was just down the road. One fella came in very early in the morning after an obviously rather big night. He ordered a beer, for breakfast.
    After informing him we were only allowed to serve alcohol with meals, he ordered a rather large meal and a beer. He sat at the table, drank the beer and promptly fell asleep, head back, snoring like a wild pig!
    He stayed like that for around four hours, then woke up, ordered another beer and ate the meal and as he was leaving left me a $30 tip!
    I’d say beer for breakfast was very good for me!!

  • Doing a night function at the café I worked at one of the menu choices was steak served with a sticky red wine jus. As I went to serve the steak to a lady, she was clearly paying no attention to me ( I had let her know I was there) and decided to take the exact moment I took the plate over her shoulder between her and the person beside her so as to place her meal on the table, to laugh hard and move towards me.

    Trying to avoid clunking the plate into the side of her head I lifted the plate quickly and apparently tipped it a little to the side, the jus proceeded to run off the plate onto her short curly hair and down her forehead and finally the rim of her glasses…… oops!

    Feeling terrible I apologised profusely I slunk out to tell my boss what happened (expecting him to be annoyed) only for him to find it highly amusing and laugh. Haha, the humour only hit me later on.

  • Going to the shoe shop with four young kids is never the greatest fun but the guy who was so patiently helping my family was an absolute hero. After fitting my son with his shoes my youngest daughter(5) who has been ignored long enough obviously pipes up with a sweet “Mummy, why does that man have a head like a shoe?” My save was to pretend she had asked something different and I responded ” No we are not buying you shoes today” Well she was not going to be fobbed off with that. In a louder voice and with arms pointed for emphasis she repeats “He has a shoe head, mummy look” I hastily tell the poor guy we are fine with shoes and he can leave us on our own now. As he walks away he politely says”if you need help, shout out” in response to this my daughter actually gasps with horror and turns to me in a stage whisper “DId he just tell you to SHUT UP? “No,no,” I tell her he said Shout out it means call me. This she did not believe at all and sat stewing about the imagined rudeness of the poor guy. Thinking I would retreat for the day and consider one child shod a mission accomplished I lead the clan through the store and passed the young man on the way out. “thanks” I murmured as I past him. Miss 5 stops points directly at him and shouts “Remember, don’t you ever tell my mum to Shut Up again”………….in the car she kept asking in a sad little voice “But why mum, why, you weren’t doing anything wrong, why did he tell you to shut up?”

  • Also work in a bank, a couple came in querying a transaction on their credit card, kept insisting he didn’t know it was. I googled the company name that the charge was from, it came up as an online company for Viagra. Trying to keep a straight face, turned computer screen to show the couple. He quickly uttered that he did remember now and they both left the branch quick smart!!

  • I was on deadline and put a bathroom visit off to last minute. Rising from my seat, I softly farted – an inconvenience I loudly blamed on a ‘squeaky shoe’. Unfortunately, the pressure of sitting too long resulted in a LOT of gas, and with each step, my farts became louder and longer. I work in a sombre government office where crop dusting is not welcome. I’d spend the $200 on new shoes…

  • Between my 6 darling children I’ve had some pretty cringe worthy moments, calling people fat, wanting to skin people, 3yr old going to kill high school bullies but I think the time that took the cake was when Miss 3 at the time (recently diagnosed with autism) first encountered a man of African origin.

    The kids had been surprisingly good, so we walked to the local shop, mistake no 1, picked up a few things we needed and Miss 3 turns around at top volume “mum mum why that man black” every attempt at hushing her did not work, she responded each time with “no mumma black man”
    I should know by now that nothing shushes this kids, mistake 2,
    I tried to gentle explain to her that people come in all colours, at which point she starts yelling dancing and point “no mumma no pink black man black man”
    The gentleman in question is now rather pissed off and voicing it, just as loudly at Miss 3, then the teenager tried to interject, mistake 3, so I’m at the point of abort abort nearest exit.
    Mistake no 4, have you ever tried to take ice cream off 4 kids (3 of them with autism).
    We get out of the shop and Mr follows us making a huge seen, the girls are terrified and I can’t get him to listen to reason. Mistake 5.
    Thankfully a friend showed up and her hubby loaded us into his car and took us home.
    Never ever in my life have I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole more than that moment, and how these kids haven’t got my head smacked in ceases to amaze me.

  • From FB.
    Moira Kutchel: While doing our lap with the two boys I lost my plain gold wedding ring in a sandy car park in Albany WA. I was devistated, so Hubby and the eldest went back to the spot late at night, in the middle of a storm to try and find it. Love them for that!! No success and we were moving on the next day. In a last ditch effort to get it back I rang the police. As sympathetic as they were I could read between the lines…it was gone. I i insisted that they take our phone number …just in case. Many kms later and a week has past when I recieved a call from the Albany police….a ring had been handed in that matched my description. I don’t know who was more suprised me or the Policeman on the phone. We had made it to Kalgoolie by this stage so he offered to have it sent to the Police Station there….they would ring me when it arrived. So several days on came the phone call I had been waiting for….so we hurried off to the Police Station. All the Police kept saying was this just never happens!!! I had to descibe it then Hubby put it back on my finger. Brought a tear to everyones eyes. And there it stays!!! I was never able to thank the person that handed it in but I hope that one day they will know how much it was appreciated.

  • From FB:
    Natasha Saunders: Worked in a video shop, age 15, and customer bought back a faulty tape. The rule was you had to check it to confirm damage and give a replacement. Video player in an under bench cupboard at front counter, a TV wall mounted high above and behind me and 6 TVs in the main video library/display area. Squatted in corner to play video and looked at customer to confirm I was at the right part of the tape showing the damage…..yep, porn!!! Needless to say we all learnt something that day.

  • From FB.
    Janelle Sami: When you ring work and tell them your sick and cant come in, but you hung ova from the nite before. But your boss has already seen the cctv footage. Never have a night out drinking in the same hotel you work at.

  • From FB.
    Lynda Harmer: I was pregnant with my 2nd and we had told Miss 2 that mummy had a baby in her belly that daddy put there. A few weeks later in a very crowded doctors surgery Miss 2 loudly and proudly asks how daddy put the baby in my belly – through my mouth or my jay-jay? The young bloke sitting next to me almost choked on his coffee!

  • From FB.
    Tanya Stevens: I moved from my country town to the big smoke to find work. Got a job and lived in a block of units, where their were some other country kids too. We all headed out one night to see a band, consumed a few too drinks but headed home before it was too late, got up the next morning to see that I had lost a few of my acrylic nails, I didn’t even remember them coming off. No time to try and take off the others. Got to work (office for an automotive wholesale, predominately male). It was the standing joke whose back did I leave my nails in the night before. Standing joke did I ever find my nails

  • From FB.
    Rachel Johns: When working in a restaurant many years ago, a well dressed family came in for lunch. They were fairly high maintenance but as we were quiet that day I was able to keep them happy. After my 10th trip to the table, I overheard the 10 year old say (in a very posh accent) “Mummy, is Rachel a servant?” His doting mummy replied “No darling, she’s the hired help.” Bless his little silk socks lol

  • When working in a large supermarket a few years ago my manager found a woman who had shoplifted a hot roast chicken. He followed her around the store for a few minutes and confronted her as she was tying to exit through a busy checkout by pushing her way through. After a little argueing the woman finally removed the roast chicken from her knickers, handed it over and left (only to return and attempt it again 15 minutes later). On seeing the incident unfold a male customer then approached staff and asked if he could instead have (for free) the knicker chicken for himself instead of it being thrown out. Yuck! We politly declined his request.

  • Cringe worthy as in – a colleague pooping in another colleagues lunch box as pay back or the cleaner removing paper towel out of the men’s toilet bin and carrying it all the way around the building to show everyone what wastage it was when there was only two small spots wet or that time another colleague use to steal other people’s lunches out of the fridge and at rotten food…. life’s never dull around here!

  • Many years ago, I also was a banker (with a B) and had popped into a tellers box one lunch time when the branch was overrun with customers, just to serve a couple of customers quickly.

    At that point in time I was in a managers position but still considered customer service a priority. (Haha, told you it was a long time ago!). So although it was some years since I’d been a teller, I was confident I could do it with my eyes closed. Turns out that may have been a better plan….
    In those interim years between my telling stints, tellers had been given permission to use a stool to sit on if they chose (back in the “good old days” that was a huge no-no).

    Anyway coincidentally the tellers boxes in the branch I was in were also old style. That meant there was really no room for a stool as well as the space required to manouevre and access bulk coin and additional cash from lower cupboards and shelves. So I pushed the stool as far behind me against the back wall of the little cubicle as it could go, and got on with it.

    I paid a few withdrawals and was really finding my groove, and enjoying chatting to people, something I didn’t get much of in my back office role.
    Then a very dour faced chap presented a large business deposit. I tried a bit of small talk but he wasn’t interested so I quickly focussed on getting the deposit finished and him out of the branch.

    I had tallied it all up and begun to put away the bulk cash and coin. I bent at the waist to reach the knee height coin shelf, forgetting about the stool behind me. I hit my bum hard against the stool, the stool crashed loudly into the back of the tellers box, where it had really nowhere to go. In surprise I dropped the bags of coin which exploded all over my feet and the floor, spraying loose coin everywhere. The colliding of my butt against the stool also simultaneously propelled me forward and I smacked the top of my head hard against the wooden edge of the counter.
    It was so ridiculous and hurt my head so much that I instantly got both tears in my eyes and hysterical giggles at the whole noisy, painful performance.

    I looked up and met grumpy mans disapproving gaze. Did he giggle along with me, ask if I was ok, comment even on my very obvious clumsiness?
    Nope, no reaction. Not a glimmer of acknowledgement, which considering how noisy and embarrassing it all was, was both absurd and the worst of all possible reactions. Cue more of my now uncontrollable giggles!

    I was in pain and mortified, and so
    amused by the whole thing. I just stamped his receipt and got him out of there.

    My tellers who’d witnessed it all were in hysterics and told me they didn’t think they’d be calling on managements help in the tellers box any time soon.
    Hmmmphh, cheeky buggers, and bloody stools… bring back the good old days!

  • From FB.
    Anthony Ridley: I used to work in a bottle shop and one day a 4-year old girl helped her dad “carry” a carton of beer to the counter. I asked her with a big smile if she had her ID, and she nodded yes, then shook her head no, then said “I’ve got a fishing rod!”
    After I stopped laughing I said to her my daughter has the same curly red hair that she does, to which she deadpanned “umm, it’s strawberry” with a dash of sass.
    I turned to the dad and said with a laugh she also has the same attitude as my daughter. Totally made my day

  • From FB.
    Karyn Post: Cringeworthy story… I was volunteering at the muster a few years ago while 20wks pregnant. I was working backstage in artist services. It was late at night and Jimmy Barnes had just finished on main stage. I was 90% asleep on my feet staring into space when I noticed movement at whatever I was randomly staring at. It was Jimmy Barnes. In his bus. Shirtless. Awkwardly waving at me because I was staring at his bare nipples so intently.

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