Why My In-Laws Spat Out Their Coffee


“Don’t forget to take your antibiotic!” I called out to Miss11. The answer I got wasn’t what I was expecting.

“Ahhhh!” came a scream from the backyard.

My first thought was someone had lost a limb – it was that loud and panicky – so I very nearly got up out of my chair and headed outside.

Nearly. Instead I cocked an ear to listen for any backup screams.

I got them. Lots of them.

“Ahhh!!!” bellowed several of my children in unison.

“You all okay out there?” I called out, still sitting.

“Noooo,” came a woeful, moany answer from Miss11. “My hand.”

“Her hand!” chorused several children.

With a heavy sigh I paused the important research I was doing on Youtube (cough) and went to have a look. Our paths converged on the balcony, where my daughter was leading with her right hand and holding it up in front of her with her left.

Oh, no, I thought, mainly because Tracey wasn’t home so I was going to get the blame for this because she for sure would try make out I wasn’t supervising the kids properly. She’s broken something.

I lent in to survey the damage. In my 23 years of parenting I’ve dealt with a couple of broken arms, a broken leg and a broken finger. I don’t like it but I hate more they always seem to happen when my wife isn’t around. I suspect some sort of conspiracy.

“I fell over, Daddy,” she whined miserably.

“It’s okay, darling. What have you-” I started. I was maybe an inch from her open palm. Then went straight into, “-ahhhhHHH!!!”

Then I retched.

Several hours later I was having a coffee with my in-laws when Miss11 rushed in.

“I didn’t have my antibiotic!” she said, reaching into the medicine cupboard. “I was going to do it but remember I fell over and had sloppy dog poo all over my hand.”

And that’s how my in-laws came to spit coffee all over my kitchen floor. Laughing while drinking will do that.


If you enjoyed this post please share, like or comment.

It really does make a difference. Thanks.

“Raising a family on little more than laughs”

1 Comment

What do you think?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.