Wayward Ward

“Can we hire you a telly?” I asked my dad when I visited him in hospital last week.

“I don’t need it,” he assured me.

A little too much cheer at my brother-in-law’s 40th has seen my father’s diabetes playing up, putting him in hospital while they take some tests and work out his meds.

We knew something wasn’t right when he became confused about where I lived and which son I was.

“I’m Bruce,” I told him. “The good looking one.”

Not sure if the continued confused look was because he was trying to place the name or because he was trying to work out in what universe the face in front of him could be considered attractive.

A few days later he confessed he had no recollection of even being admitted. But the fantastic care he received at the Gympie Hospital meant his levels were back to a point where he was enjoying himself immensely in the ward.

“Listen to this,” he whispered to me as the nurse across the hall went to leave the room. “She’ll leave, the bloke in the bed in the corner will call her back and the bloke in the bed bedside me will have a go at him.”

It seems this one particular patient was being a huge pain for the staff and it was really getting on the nerves of one of the other patients, who now let fly whenever the shenanigans started up.

The nurse nearly made it to the door when suddenly, “Nurse! Nurse! Nurse!”

Followed by, “Oh, shut up, you stupid dickhead.”

Dad was in convulsions trying to keep his laughter bottled up inside.

“It goes on all day,” he grinned at me.

But his favourite story was a bloke who needed to be taken to the bathroom.

“About time,” spat the patient as an attendant arrived with a seat on which he could sit and be wheeled over the loo.

Behind a curtain he was quickly maneuvered onto the seat in preparation.

Then, as he was wheeled past my father’s bed, the attendant suddenly broke into a trot.

“Not yet!” he yelled out. “Don’t start yet!”

“Why would I want a tv?” said my father. “This is way better than daytime soap.”

 I just wanted to put out a BIG thank you to the staff at the Gympie Hospital – you guys really are awesome. I can’t thank you enough for all the help and concern you’ve lavished on this family over the past 18 years I’ve lived in G-town. You are all a credit to your professions, Queensland Health and your mothers.

When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’  Facebook Page.

 ’raising a family on little more than laughs’

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