The Little Shits


“I don wanna see your doodle!” Miss3 pointed and screamed sweetly at me this morning.

I was in the shower and she’d just burst through the door to use the loo. This was not an unusual occurrence – neither the need to use the toilet while I was showering nor her outburst regarding my nethers. I turned around, knowing full well what was coming next.

“I don wanna see your bum!” she yelled as she sat on the loo. I gave up on any hope of a luxurious shower and turned off the taps.

What was called for, as I dried myself, was a diversion. Fortunately she was quick to provide one.

“What was that noise?” I asked her. “That big splash?”

“It was me!” she beamed at me.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It was too big to come out of a little girl like you.”

“I did a daddy poo,” she informed me knowingly. “But sometimes,” she told me, raising her hand and indicating something a very small between her thumb and index finger, “I do little poos.”

“Like Kangaroo droppings?” I asked.

“No, not Kangaroo, Daddy. Like family poos.”

The little poos, it seems, are the children. Suddenly I was wondering if I’d used that wonderful expression ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ a little too often.

Laughing, I left Miss3 to wrap things up and joined Tracey in the kitchen, taking great pleasure in telling her of Miss3’s and my little conversation.

“Even our three year old knows she and the other kids can be little shits,” I chuckled at my wife.

“You know what I love about that story?” Tracey asked me, grinning. “You’re laughing and she’s just called you a big shit and you haven’t even realized it yet.”

At least she stopped pointing at my doodle.

When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’  Facebook Page.

 ’raising a family on little more than laughs’

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1 Comment

  • I know a guy who thought his girlfriend was cheating because she claimed to have had no visitors all day but according to him there was a “mansize” shit in the loo.
    Literally hysterical he shared this devastating news with the whole family. I am not sure how she finally proved her innocence but I imagine she was careful not to leave any ‘boats’ for future reference.

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