Clothes Maketh The Man

Is this where I fess up and say I actually had underboob sweat when I took this and that’s why it’s cut off where it is? No. I should keep that under my hat.

“I love your shirt, man,” the guy at the pizza place said to me when I went in to pick up our lunch.

I’m never very good in social situations. And I don’t just mean at parties. I mean whenever I leave the house. Or even right here at home if we have friends over.

I’m the sort of bloke who’ll ask the same question a couple of times, or tell people a story I’ve already told them, or tell a woman how fantastic she’s looking and how much weight she’s lost and ask what’s her secret, only to have it turn out she’s had a baby. Or, worse, she’s doing chemo.

Usually I can just smile and laugh after saying something dumb or inappropriate or just plain wrong, and a lot of people just assume I’m making a joke. But the fact is I’m a walking, talking, social disaster – including at fast food outlets.

After a quick look down to see what the hell shirt I was wearing which would elicit such a positive statement I quickly decided on the appropriate response. He likes my shirt? I’ve totally got this. I mean how could I stuff it up?

“Thanks,” I said. Perfect.

And I should have left it there. But let’s face it, that would have been out of character. I smiled back at him in what I now hope was a friendly, but not sexual, manner.

“I’ve got matching undies,” I said.

…and his face froze.

For maybe one second we just looked at each other.

“Bazinga?” I murmured hopefully, and forced a laugh.

And after another second he joined in.

Yep, I’m a funny guy.

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It really does make a difference :) Thanks.

“Raising a family on little more than laughs”

‘Pics or they don’t exist!’ a friend wrote on my wall when I mentioned this story. Oh they exist, but I didn’t take a photo until I’d taken them off – because I’m shy and I hadn’t waxed.


  • Okay, I just have to ask! Do you always wear them whenever you wear the shirt? My daughter has ballerina undies that she just has to wear whenever she has ballet.

  • First time I’ve ever worn them. They were part of my Xmas present. Genuinely a coincidink I had them both on together. When I got home and wanted to take a picture of the undies for the post I went looking and couldn’t find them until I went to the loo.

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