Listen Carefully

Okay, apparently enough time has passed I can tell this story, only without naming names or pointing fingers – because that’s the condition I’ve been given for being allowed to type this up.

The two people involved will, I’m sure, know who they are. Well, the Mystery Devereaux involved will.

As for the other character – well, if that person doesn’t read the blog there’s every chance someone they work with does. Maybe, and I’ve only just thought of this but it already sounds like fun, it’ll be a fun mystery for a teacher or two to solve.

It happened in the first week of the new school year.

“How was today?” I asked as my three high schoolers battled each other for the front passenger seat and settled into the car. “You guys have fun?”

I only got the one response, but it was loud enough to have been yelled by the three of them.

“No!” blurted MysteryD.

OMG, I thought, was MysteryD picked on? Bullied? Was MysteryD humiliated in some way which will stick throughout their high school years, possibly resulting in an unflattering nickname like Scrotum (don’t ask).

“What’s happened?” I asked, for once not having to feign interest in something my one of kids has to say on the short drive home.

I shot a glance to the ball of upset sitting beside me.

MysteryD pivoted to face me a little better and huffed in a deep breath – a unique skill only MysteryD can manage – before blurting out the thing which had totally ruined the day and – possibly because I can be a bit of a dick parent – was about to make mine.

“Apparently, the teacher had a lot of heart attacks and was given a maximum of 15 years to live!” said MysteryD, the words racing through the octaves like a concert pianist.

“Fifteen years is a long time,” I said. “Multiple heart attacks and still alive? I’d say that’s really a good story and not something to get upset about.”

Which was perfectly sound logic and would have been the end of the whole thing…

…if I hadn’t been missing one key detail.

“It was thirteen years ago!!!” MysteryD bellowed and I dragged the car back into my lane.

Which meant nothing was taught to my child during this particular lesson. Because from the moment the teacher casually mentioned this little anecdote every! single! time! they paused mid sentence – and according to the version of the story I heard this happened A LOT – MysteryD freaked the hell out the teacher had snuffed it and they were all about to see their first ever corpse.

Good luck to any readers who happen to go to the same high school as my three. Your time starts…now!

No clues in the photos. Except maybe the name of the high school. But if you’re a teacher of my kids you probably already know what it’s called.
Went to take down the signpost from Miss15’s birthday party and…well, if a picture tells a thousand words, three must be a novella.

Raising a family on little more than laughs

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