A Kiss Across The Ocean

While I’m working here in the Maldives it’s occured to me I now have a glimpse of what it’s like to be a fly in fly out dad. Missing the fam so much I barely notice the crystal clear water of the Indian Ocean lap the white sands under the feet of a fashion parade of swimsuits and caftans while someone brings me another G&T from the completely complimentary bar to drown my sorrows with.

It’s tough.

Seriously though, being away from the family has not been without its difficulties.

For one thing, Tracey had what we hoped would be her last appointment with her surgeon, Dr Brown. I really wanted to be there, although I suspect he avoided an awkward moment where I’d have been crying into his shoulder and refusing to break out of a hug. The man deserves better than that.

We’re five hours behind Qld time here at ClubMed Kani, so I was at breakfast when the message came through.

Just had my last appointment! Got the all clear !!! Yeah baby !!!

This not only means the last of her operations was a success, it also means we’re a couple of weeks away from taking the big leg of our Big Lap, encompassing the states we haven’t made it too yet – NT, WA, SA, TAS and VIC.

That is AWESOME!!! I messaged her back. And then, because I’m a simple man and us simple men think you women folk really like it when we say we think you’re sexxy AF, I added, You thinking what I’m thinking? SEX!!!

I could see by the dots she’d started typing back immediately.

Probably something flirty, I thought to myself, wondering how to go about getting her to message me a photo of her boobies.

Proving romance isn’t dead, I’d started to tap out my next line when Tracey’s message arrived. It was simple and to the point, with no punctuation required to convey a dry deadpan sort of resignation.

Wrong thread Bruce

A quick panicked glance at the top of the screen, which I can see in hindsight might have served me better two minutes ago, informed me this was not the private tete-a-tete I’d assumed, but rather a group encompasing much of our extended family.

Like I say, being away from family is not without its downside. For them.

Well…I’m grossed out, Master25 messaged a few minutes later.

He got off lightly. I can’t imagine his day would have been improved if I’d pressed send on Show me your tits.

Raising a family on little more than laughs

HELP WANTED: This post is not sponsored, although Scoot & ClubMed have kindly put up the trip for us But the one below is sponsored. Please support our big beautiful family by simply clicking over and checking it out (click on the photo below).