“Mummy and I have something special organised for you kids this weekend,” I teased Miss5 at bedtime tonight. Tracey and I had just finished reading her a couple of bedtime stories.

“EEEEeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEE!!” she squealed, jumping out of the sheets and jumping up and down. Of all our kids, Miss5 is the one who has to let her excitement out for all the world to see. “What?! What?! What?!”

“I’ll give you a hint,” I told her while Tracey tucked her back into bed. “We have to leave the house.”

Miss5 shot out of bed again. “We’re going to Tin Can Bay!” she bellowed.

We go to Tin Can Bay every year for a week or two, to relax and ride bikes and drink beer. I do the bulk of the beer drinking, but the kids do get to fetch them from the fridge for me. Tin Can Bay is the laziest little town I’ve ever been to, and we love it.

“Yay!!” came a yell from the other room, and another from the bathroom.

“No, we’re not!” I called back before they could all build up to fever pitch and there’d be tears when I told them the game was cancelled.

“I’ll give you another clue,” I said as Tracey tried to push Miss5’s head towards the pillow. “It involves big balls.”

My young daughter was up again. “We’re going to Geoffrey’s!” she bellowed. “Yes!”

Geoffrey is Master21 and he lives a couple of hours away in Brisvegas. I have no idea why he’s the first thing which comes to mind when Miss5 hears big balls. She’s obviously never heard him squeal at a spider.

“Yay!” yelled Master7, sticking his head in the bedroom. “Awesome.”

“We’re not,” I told him. “We’re not!” I yelled to the rest of the house.

“Final clue,” I said. Tracey wasn’t even bothering to put her in bed at this point. “You use bumpers.”

Miss5 leapt up, spun around but then froze facing me. “Bumpers? What are they?” she asked me.

“This game is going well,” said Tracey. “You should do a pilot.”

“We’re going Ten Pin Bowling,” I said, ignoring my wife.

“We’re going Ten Pin Bowling!” Miss5 bellowed, jumping and pivoting on the bed in a frenzy of glee.

The rest of the house was oddly silent.

“We are!” I called out. “We really are going Ten Pin Bowling!”

“YAY!!” came yells from other rooms, and we were finally able to remake Miss5’s bed and put her to sleep.

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