Wiping The Smile Off Your Dial

girls on ipad 2

“You know,” my wife told me in the car today, “it’s just occurred to me, if I can see people while we’re on the phone I’ll have to be careful where I’m standing or they’ll see the mess behind me.”

She’s worried about the mess? That’s not the worst of it. Not by half.

I love technology. I do. Insofar as I love buying a new laptop or tablet. I even like the odd App when it lets me check Facebook on the phone or I can play PopStar while the kids are playing soccer or Tracey looks at dresses.

But not this. Not video chat. I’ve been trying to get Tracey on board with my ‘let’s just stick with what we know’ train, but so far we’ve been stuck at the station. This was the first sign she’d even stepped onto the platform.

On a two night stopover home, Master22 had introduced us and his siblings to Facetime on the assurance it was going to make everything wonderful because what could be better than seeing people while we’re chatting on the ‘phone’?

Naturally, the kids love it. Kids suck up new technology like loud little snot producing vacuums.

But can I just put forward the notion that not seeing people while you chat to them on the phone is one of the big pluses of phone calls, especially now we all have cordless phones. Not having to worry about looking interested, or not rolling your eyes, gives you the time and freedom to do other things like eating or checking emails and not getting out of your pajamas.

Just think about that one for a second.

“Honey! Phone call!”

“Don’t bring that in here! I’m still looking for my pants. They can’t see me like this. And I haven’t done my makeup. Tell them I’ll call them back in an hour.”

And I’m pleased to say, having used Facetime on a couple of occasions this week, even Master22 is starting to see things from my point of view. Specifically, I’m referring to a conversation he had with Tracey where she had to fiddle with the iPad a bit to adjust the volume.

“Where’s the volume?” she mumbled, tipping the tablet to find the little buttons.

“Nice cleavage shot,” came the flat monotone from the tablet.

“Oh. Sorry about that.”

I think it’s safe to say he’s on board with my way of thinking. At the least I’d say he’s considering dropping the word ‘wonderful’ when he talks about how good it is to others.

Tracey, however, was taking a little bit longer to come around to my way of thinking, which was that being careful where to stand when you take a call was just the tip of the iceberg.

“It’d be embarrassing if someone saw our washing on the lounge or the dishes in the sink,” Tracey added as we pulled into our driveway.

“That’s not the worst of it,” I said, helping the kids to remember to take their schoolbags out of the car with them. “Think of what you’ll be seeing on your screen.”

“I don’t care what other people’s houses look like,” Tracey said.

I shook my head. She hadn’t got it yet. I decided to bring a specific family member into the conversation.

“You’re chatting to her,” I said. “Just like normal. It’s all bla bla bla. And she’s walking around the house and then you hear the unmistakable sound of the toi-”

“Oh my god!” squealed Tracey. “No!”

Yep, She’d just remembered we suspect this family member takes the phone with her into the loo.

All aboard! We’ll be in the caboose if you need us and, with luck, if you close your eyes and listen real close, you might hear us coming.

girls on ipad

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“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”



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