Still Another Of My Life’s Great Mysteries Solved


I have lost count of the number of times I have walked through from the bathroom to our bedroom and nearly come a cropper in the kitchen because the floor is wet.

“Who just got a drink from the fridge door?” I’ll squeal as my back seizes causing my lungs to compress all the air out of my body. In an effort to save myself from face planting I’ve attempted a manoeuvre Olympic gymnasts would balk at unless they’re double jointed.

There’s less water in my towel, which is now threatening to expose myself to passing fitness junkies walking up the footpath a mere five meters outside the dining room sliding doors, than on the kitchen floor.

Short of a bucket there is no other logical way so much water could have materialised in the five minutes I was showering.

But naturally, no one is prepared to own up to the mess. But of course my facial expression, which would make the grown up Tom Riddle look playful and approachable, probably doesn’t help.

Still, you’d think, with the number of times I’m ice-skated to my bedroom the last few years, I’d be closer to working out who the culprit is.

And I have!

The neighbours came over tonight with their two kids so we could all catch up and enjoy some prawns and a few ales for what ails me. It was a lovely evening. Lovely and enlightening.

“Do your kids usually clean themselves using the fridge?” Mrs Neighbour asked me.

I’d had a few beers at this point so I asked her to repeat the question. She did. It made no more sense than the first time.

Turns out, when someone is in the shower (specifically me) Miss5 uses the water dispenser on the fridge to wash her hands, and Mrs Neighbour had just caught Miss5 teaching this neat little trick to her four year old son.

“We do it all the time,” Miss5 confessed when I asked her about it.

Setting aside the use of the word ‘we’….

“But it gets water everywhere,” I told her. “And when I ask about it you should be honest and say you did it so we can clean it up.”

“But you’ve never asked me if I wash my hands with the fridge water,” she said.

It’s true what they say, only a fool defends themself. Next time I talk to this child I should consider hiring a QC.

But on the bright side another mystery bites the dust.

Hope it didn’t do it’s back on the way down.


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