Seat Of My Pants


“The money’s in my purse,” Tracey whispered to me while we sat on the tarmac waiting to start our (child free) journey to Sydney for the annual smarts swapping and wine tasting event with the other Remarkables – those of us who are represented by The Remarkables Group out of Sydney.

This is only my second event, being a bit of a newbie to this side of blogging, and this year Tracey is joining me – because she lived and I want to show her off to this wonderful group of people who supported my family through the drama of late last year.

“Okay,” I whispered back, thinking that was an excellent place to keep it. So long as it was accessible when the hostie came around selling cheese and crackers.

“Which is in the overhead locker,” Tracey finished.

Even that would have been fine, only I’d just finished shoving my ass into the face of the guy sitting beside me as I’d shuffled back into my seat because the air hostess had pleasantly advised Tracey she needed to secure her handbag in the overhead locker – and Tracey had pleasantly advised me to do it for her.

So as I’d shuffled past this very patient man three already (he was seated in the aisle seat when we arrived), I’d also apologised and jokingly promised to not do that again, thinking, because it was only about an hour’s flight, that’d be easy.

And now it wasn’t.

“Excuse me again,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

Several more awkward face to ass moments later, I was back in my seat.

I smiled at Tracey, expecting an appreciative smile back.

But as I sat down I noticed Tracey’s face was bursting with that same strange mix of amusement and disgust I’ve sometimes seen my mother direct at my father over the years. She gestured for me to lean in and whispered a short message to me.

I turned to the bloke I was sitting next to. After all the hassle I’d just put him through, I figured he deserved some good news.

“Turns out you’re lucky I had my ass in your face,” I told him, “because apparently my fly is undone.”

I got in trouble for taking this photo on the tarmac. I’m a naughty boy.



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Raising a family on little more than laughs.


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