My Wife Gets Tough On Knockers

PicMonkey Collage (10)

“Tough titties,” Tracey called over her shoulder to the kids in the back of the car. 

We were driving up to Toogoom to check out a house to rent for a family holiday. So far the two hour trip had taken us four hours, with breakfast at Maccas, a half hour wait outside a water park which then didn’t open and me & my sense of direction managing to accidentally drive us in a complete circle around Pt Vernon. The kids wanted us to stop so they could swim in the ocean but we really just wanted to get to Toogoom first.

Despite Tracey’s comment and the set backs, we weren’t pissed off. In fact, we were having a great time. But we were becoming concerned nothing we planned today was going to come off and this was making us jumpy. We were probably on the cusp of teetering into a more grumpy mood.

Fortunately, our children were there to set us right.

“I love titties,” Master8 shouted back to us.

That got our attention. Was my little boy starting to notice girls?

“You don’t even know what titties are,” said Miss9 to her brother.

“Do so,” he said.

Interestingly, titties is Stephen Fry’s preferred word for breasts – saw that on an episode of QI last week. Titties, fun bags, jugs, a rack, hooters – we’ve over one hundred words for breasts in the English language. Not sure if that counts as a cultural obsession, but my guess would be yes, it does. And don’t go thinking it’s all us blokes either: the preferred word for breasts at work is puppies. The preferred word at home?

“They’re boobies,” Miss9 told her brother with a little home-girl shake of her head and enough tone to make Lizzie McGuire seem contrite by comparison.

“Eww!” said Master8, disgusted. “I don’t like boobies.”

We’re thinking that’ll change over the next few years, but whatever. It’s his choice.

“I’ll show you boobies!” screamed Miss6 from the very back of the car, and she then proceeded to take her shirt off and point a lot of fingers at her chest while Master8 refused to turn around.

“Muuuuum!” he appealed to Tracey. “Make them stop!”

Tracey called back for Miss6 to please dress herself.

“I got boobies,” Miss3 was saying beside Miss6. “And mummy got boobies and Mishi got boobies and Grace got boobies and daddy got boobies…”

I pulled her up there. I have pecs. Big, fat, perky pecs.

“This is your fault,” Master8 told his mother as the booby talk continued.

“How is this my fault?”

“You could have said ‘tough boobies’ so I knew what you meant. Then none of this would have happened.”

“I only have one thing to say to you about that,” said Tracey. She grinned. “Tough titties.”

And this time he knew exactly what she was talking about.

When we went back to the water park in the afternoon they said they'd found the problem - all the water had left during the night. Only thing working was the wave rider.
When we went back to the water park in the afternoon they said they’d found the problem – all the water had left during the night. Only thing working was the wave rider which Master8 and Miss9 had a go of – I was really impressed with their efforts. They stood up!

When not over here, Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his Big Family Little Income Facebook Page. Come join us 🙂

 ”Raising a family on little more than laughs.”


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