I get it now – being a mother is hard.

What with Tracey working all through the long weekend we swapped roles last night – I got up to the kids and Tracey stayed in bed and stole the blankets.

It’s been one night and I’m exhausted.

Earlier this evening I was making myself a coffee so I could keep my eyes open while I put the kids to bed. This in itself is not unusual. Ever since Master20 was a toddler I’ve had difficulty reading bedtime stories to the kids because I inevitably fall asleep before I finish the book. Seriously, I’m generally yawning as I open to the first page.

But tonight the coffee was needed so I had the energy to walk to the bedroom to pick up a book and start reading it without nodding off because after last night I’m not just a little exhausted – there is no expression on my face.

To give you an idea of how mother-buggered I am, I considered takeaway for dinner tonight so I could get out of cooking but then realized I couldn’t trust myself to drive to Pizza Hut and not fall asleep behind the wheel. So the kids had plain rice with soy sauce for dinner.

And I’ve still got one more night to go!!

I can’t complain either. I can’t bring myself to say, “Tracey, I’m buggered. Now you’re home from work I’m off for a power nap.” Tracey doesn’t do that so how can I?

So, as I say, I was filling up the plunger with coffee (because instant just wasn’t going to cut the mustard) so I could read the kids a story and I didn’t quite have the energy to lift the heavy spoon of granules up over the lip of the plunger, so I spilled them – into the steamer containing the baby bottles.

‘She’ll be right,’ was my first thought as I dusted the bottles off and put them back.

On any other night I might have gone with that, but it very quickly occurred to me of all the food substances I don’t want to introduce my 10 month old, caffeine would have to be right up there in the top ten. So all the bottles, and the steamer, had to be thoroughly washed and re-steam cleaned.

Mind you, I already know I’m in for hell tonight because I let the baby sleep for more than two hours late this afternoon while I stared dumbly at the wall and ignored the kids as they dismantled their wardrobes and stripped the beds. But heaven help my little darlings tomorrow if I don’t manage more than a couple of hours sleep tonight – If rice was hard today I’ll probably just stick a raw potato in front of them for tomorrow night’s dinner.

Yep, I’m ready to give up this mother caper. Although it could (regrettably) be argued I have the breasts for the job, it turns out I just don’t have the balls for it.


When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes

Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page.

’raising a family on little more than laughs’

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