Have you ever done things to deliberately annoy your partner?
Tracey thinks I do. Last night she all but accused me of ignoring the washing basket on purpose.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s full or empty, you dump your clothes on the floor.”
“Poppycock,” I told her. I figured I probably forgot this one time and she’s exaggerating because it’s frustrating she finds me so perfect in just about every single way.
“You do! Every single day!” she said.
And I have to confess, this morning when I took off my PJ’s for a shower I found myself throwing my off-casts onto the ground.
‘But only because I’m going to pick them up after I shower and put them under my pillow,’ I reminded myself. Only after my shower I didn’t move them, did I.
I told this to a smug looking Tracey, adding, “Well, at least I can still claim I wasn’t doing it deliberately.”
This same sort of issue came up at work this morning when a friend of mine told me she’s dark on their husband at the moment. What’s he done? The unthinkable. He gets six days off in a row every three weeks.
“Well you get weekends,” I said to her, going in to bat for my fellow man.
“So does he!” she told me.
Stuff him, he can bat for himself. The bastard.
Not content to just be jealous of her husband, my friend has taken to waking him up before she goes to work.
“So he can enjoy the day,” she told me, although I didn’t have to be a mind reader to listen between the lines and hear ‘so he can do chores around the house’.
What’s interesting, though, is how she’s waking him up.
“I blow dry my hair in the bathroom,” she told me. “Then I brush my teeth.”
It seems there’s only a thin wall between the bathroom and their bedroom, and the sound a hairdryer and electric toothbrush makes comes through like a brushcutter. Especially when the toothbrush is pressed hard up against the wall.
Another woman I spoke to today admitted leaving peanut butter on a knife because it gives her a giggle when she hears her husband complain about it when he does the washing up, and yet another said she doesn’t wind up the hose when she’s finished with it because her husband doesn’t turn off the light after he’s been in the walk in robe.
It started to make me wonder if maybe my own sweet wife does things to deliberately annoy me.
I thought I’d ask her directly so I called my question out to where she was messing about in her studio.
I called again, only louder. And then again, louder.
“Tracey!” I ended up bellowing. “DO YOU EVER DO THINGS TO DELIBERATELY ANNOY M…” I took a deep breath. “You’re doing it now, aren’t you.”
She stuck her smiling head around the door.
“Yep,” she beamed.
I should have known better than to ask.
When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes,
Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page.
’raising a family on little more than laughs’