A Face Only A Mother Could Love

If you played that game where you circle the differences between the two faces, I think the only thing left visible would be her ears.
If you played that game where you circle the differences between the two faces, I think the only thing left visible would be her ears.

My children are beautiful – which is a real shit because apparently there’s good money to be had in producing ugly kids. It’s one thing to look in the mirror and be dissatisfied with the face looking back at you, but can you imagine being so butt ugly as a kid your dad took your mum to court and sued her – AND WON!

Not just the case, but was awarded $120,000.

Jian Feng, whose sole purpose in life appears to be making me look like a serious contender for all manner of parenting awards, apparently had this to say, “Our daughter was so incredibly ugly – to the point where it horrified me.”

What really bugs me about this, even more than Mr Feng’s horrendous statement, is how much of the social media I’ve been reading is agreeing with Mr Feng’s actions – reporting on this court case seems to have fired up a lot of misogynistic rhetoric. Apparently he’s right and she’s wrong. Her $100,000 worth of plastic surgery has made her into a huge teller of lies and he was wrongfully deceived into thinking their prodigy would be attractive.

Which is why, on our very first date, I told my wife about my facial birth defect and how I regularly wax my mono-brow, because I didn’t want any misunderstandings when Geoffrey the Greek was born.

But seriously, I couldn’t give a continental why Jian’s decided to divorce his wife (and his wife not telling him about her plastic surgery might be fair grounds in many people’s eyes) but what sort of a pig’s ass for a father announces to all and sundry he’s divorcing because their kid has come out ugly. I mean, they’re all ugly at first, with their folds of skin and over-sized heads, but give them time and they grow on you.

I know there’s no doubt a lot more to this story than the media has given us. I know his comments have probably been taken out of context or souped up or even made up. I certainly want to doubt he ever intended his comments to be heard outside the courtroom.

But the man is still an ass. An ugly, ugly ass. Fortunately, though, when his winnings hit his account he might have the money to undergo some intensive therapy on his personality and turn himself a much more attractive man.

Which apparently is fine so long as he tells his next wife how, despite the kind and engaging personality which she’s come to love, he used to be a real ugly ass. Wouldn’t want him to end up in divorce court if his next kid takes after him and he says despicable things to members of his family.

Meanwhile, due to my insufferably good looking children, I guess I’ll have to keep dragging my sorry ass to work.

This is my brother, Shanus, when he was about four. I think my dad has a case.
This is my brother, Shanus, when he was about four. I think my dad has a case.

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When not typing away over here and checking his stats every two minutes

Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his ‘BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page.

’raising a family on little more than laughs’


  • I think that no matter how you twist that story, someone who wants to sue their child’s mother because their child is unattractive is a horrible person.
    I hope he gets the karma he deserves!
    I can understand that if you deceive your life partner about something significant that has happened in your life – say, extensive cosmetic surgery – then that might compromise your loving connection with them, but for it to be such a big deal that this guy would “on the record” state that his child is ugly (and therefore a disappointment) and not as attractive as he believed she would be…

  • This father is absolutely horrible. Don’t most children represent their father’s when they are first born anyway so half the facial genetics would be his. It is surprising that the mother never admitted the plastic surgery but then again maybe she was just really self confident. I feel bad for the child as they will grow up thinking with such low self esteem

  • It is most likely to be a hoax it (or variants) have been “doing the rounds” for a decade now. Really cannot believe anything which gains so much attention on the internet any more.

What do you think?

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