The Sting


“Can I have everyone’s attention please!” I said at work, raising my voice when there were no customers in the branch. “I have something to say which you all need to know.”

The Big Dope


When I’m sleep deprived, I’m a mess. The synapses in my brain just don’t fire. What I say and what I hear don’t necessarily match reality. I hear about Winston Churchill, Napolean Bonaparte, Thomas Jefferson and Bob Hawke and how at the peak of their political powers they only required a few hours sleep a night and I can’t believe there haven’t been more wars.

My head is spinning


I felt like a bit of a wally today because I had to be driven home from work.

One of my colleagues has been dragging herself into the office for a week despite sniffling and talking like she’s doing a bad Krusty the Clown impersonation.

Whereas I went home because I was dizzy. What a princess.