You ever have those nights when you can’t be buggered picking out a book to read? Tonight was one of those nights. Again. So instead of having a story read to them, I made one up.
This usually ends poorly, because I have no idea where I’m headed with it and anyway rarely make it past naming the characters, who must always include whoever is listening in the lead role and all other family members as well.
But tonight, much to my surprise, I ended up with a beginning, a middle and an end. And not a single family member’s name.
So, for something completely different, I thought I’d share my little bedtime story with you. You can’t, of course, see the actions that went with it, but basically you’ll do fine if you can imagine a forty-something male who’s let himself go a bit, and whose only chance at being accepted to NIDA would be if they needed a janitor, using his hands as bunny ears, growling and stalking like a wolf and, at one point, even giving a dynamic interpretation of a tree.
Flopsy & The Wolf
Once upon a time there was a bunny rabbit called Flopsy, who lived in a big forest. Flopsy would hop through the forest looking for food. But she always had to be careful. There were other animals in the forest looking for food too. And some of them, like the wolf, preferred to eat rabbit.
Suddenly, Flopsy thought she heard something. Her ears twitched this way and that. She did hear something! And it sounded like a wolf!
Flopsy hopped into the bushes. But it was too late. The wolf appeared, walking slowly with it’s nose to the ground. Then it stopped. It stopped and turned towards where Flopsy was hiding.
“I know you’re in there, rabbit” said the wolf.
Flopsy thought about running, but wolves were fast. Faster than rabbits. She thought about trying to climb a tree, but she knew she wasn’t a tree climbing kind of bunny. And then she thought maybe she should just talk to the wolf.
“Hello, wolf,” said Flopsy. She hopped out of the bush. “Nice to meet you, I’m sure. But you should know, I’m not a rabbit. I’m a lion.”
The wolf looked at Flopsy with her long rabbit-like ears and her cute rabbit-like tail.
“You’re a rabbit,” said the wolf.
“No, I’m a lion. And I can prove it.”
“Go on then,” said the wolf, chuckling.
Flopsy took a deep breath and roared with all her might.
It wasn’t much of a roar.
“That wasn’t much of a roar,” said the wolf, laughing.
“I’ve never been much of a roarer,” admitted Flopsy. “But lions are more than roars. We’re the kings of the jungle after all. For example, I’m a really fast runner. Lions are really fast. Faster than wolves.”
“Lions might be fast, but you’re not a lion, rabbit.”
“Oh, yes I am,” said Flopsy, nodding confidently. “And I can prove it to you.”
“Well, you agree lions are faster than wolves, and wolves are faster than rabbits, so how about we have a race? If I beat you I’m a lion and you have to go on your way. And if you beat me I’m a rabbit and…”
“…and I’ll have my dinner,” said the wolf. “I agree! We should have a race.”
So they decided to run to a tree a long way off in the distance. They lined up.
“Ready. Set. Go!” yelled Flopsy.
The wolf sprung out of the start, bounding towards the tree. Wolves really are very, very fast. And the wolf was putting everything he had into winning this race.
“Ha!” said the wolf triumphantly when he arrived, puffing heavily, at the finish. He spun around to confront Flopsy. “I told you you’re a rabbit and not a lion!”
But there was no-one behind him. Flopsy didn’t race the wolf to the tree. Instead, when the race started, Flopsy turned around and hopped off in the other direction.
Because although Flopsy wasn’t a lion, she also wasn’t dumb. Unlike the wolf.
Okay, so I’m no Beatrix Potter, but I reckon it’s not bad for a story on the fly.
The most important thing, though, is the girls loved it.
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“Raising a family on little more than laughs”