Good Mourning!

Photo credit: New Orleans Mask
Photo credit: New Orleans Mask

This might be my last post. I don’t think, with a working blog title of ‘Big Family, Little Income’,  it would be fair to operate under the false perception I’m battling to make ends meet when in actual fact I’m living in the lap of luxury.

You see, last night, while I was resting my weary head, good fortune smiled down on me and when I awoke this morning it was to a life of caviar and collectibles. In fact, good fortune smiled down not once but twice.

I’ve read stories about people winning lotto and suddenly they’re inundated with requests from family they haven’t seen in years.  I posted my good fortune on Facebook and the leaches started to come out of the woodwork. Family begging for a piece of cake. Pathetic really. One old school mate of mine even claimed I owed him fifty dollars. I suggested I’d get my new solicitor straight onto it.

Fortunately, I have one of those now.

My first bit of good fortune was waiting for me when I opened up my emails this morning.

email one

It was only a stroke of luck I actually caught my second windfall. It had somehow landed in my spam folder and very nearly got deleted. Phew! 

email two

And while I’m naturally upset at losing so many dear, dear relatives who I’ve never met, I do feel Boris, and whoever the other one is, would want me to celebrate their lives….possibly in London or New York. I’ll find a quiet corner.

Anywho, by my calculations I’m sitting on (40% of 7.2million is 3.12million plus 5.7million outright) eight million eight hundred and twenty thousand dollars! Less fees, which I’ll no doubt have to pay in advance, because that’s how these big money transactions work.

Now, obviously, I’m not an idiot. I’m not about to fall for any ol’ spam which comes my way. There are crooks out there – I know this. So I sent back a couple of emails of my own to try sort out if these were as totally legit as they sounded.

‘Is this real?’ I asked. 

That’ll flush them out, I thought. Now all I had to do was wait for a reply. But I didn’t have to wait long because lucky for me Mr Fuku must have been working late in Lome Togo – it would have been 11pm there (I checked) – and I quickly had my answer. 

‘Yes is real.’

You can see why he’s a barrister: his command of legalese is very inspiring and reassuring: succinct and avoids that old mistake of muddying the message with commas and pronouns. I think my school mate can kiss his fifty dollars goodbye. There’s no way this legal gun will settle.

So it looks like I’m a few curt emails, and the yet to be discussed small processing fee, off living the good life. I trust you’ve all enjoyed reading about my hand to mouth shenanigans and if you’d like to keep in touch you’ll find me at my new blog, Big Family, Little Red Corvette.

Meanwhile, if anyone else was thinking about putting their hand out I say to you, ‘Get your own rich, dead relative you’ve never met!’

It’s easy, just check your emails.

Scam Watch 

(because these emails are bogus – just in case I was being too subtle)

🙂 if you enjoyed this post please share, like or comment 🙂

“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”

63 Comments

    • You don’t need viagra when you’ve got a massive yacht. There’s a direct correlation between the two 😀

    • Of course I’ll throw you a bone, Donna. Or perhaps you’d like me to forward your email address to him? Maybe he’s got a nice dead relative for you to 🙂

  • I sent an email saying:
    Will you be needing birth certificates or anything? How do you know I’m real?

    I just got my reply:
    If you are not for real.You will not be asking me this.This has also given me more courage and confident that I am dealing with an honest and open person.

    I will only be needing the information below to arrange the documents I will submit to the bank to enable to contact you for the release/transfer of the money to you as my late client next of kin.It is the bank that will or may be needing your say driver license or international passport copy or any of your valid identification to be sure they have contacted the right person after I have filed the documents to them.

    Your Full Name:
    Your Full Contact Address:
    Your Direct Contact Telephone and Fax Number:
    Occupation:
    Age 🙁 D/M/Y)
    Marital Status:

    That’s how I know he’s real, because he’s answering my emails 😀 😀 😀 RICH I TELL YOU!!!!

    • Scam the scammer. Seems falls of everything he asks for. There’s an entire website dedicated to don’t this. Just google scam the scammer it’s 419 something.

  • I loved fact that the second offer would only give you 40% of the money. He’s ripping off your imaginary inheritance inside his own scam… that’s some kind of fantastic level of arrogance. If it were me, I would try to negotiate for a bigger imaginary cut if he replies.

  • I wouldn’t trust him, he hasn’t asked for your bank details…. man you are so lucky to have 2 dead relatives!

  • I just got me another one!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I foresee having beer on tap in my kitchen

    I am Mrs.Helen Wong, from Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited.
    (China)I have a
    business proposal of USD$30,000,000 (Thirty Million United States
    Dollars Only)
    for you to transact with me from my bank, which would be deposited in
    your name
    and transferred by you to your country.

    All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you
    prior to your acceptance and as soon as I receive your return mail via
    my email
    address: [email protected],I will let you know what is required of you.

    Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

    Best Regards,

    Mrs. Helen Wong

  • And now this from dear dear Mr Fuku. Actually it seems that’s his pet name for me now – ‘Dear’ – and he addresses all our correspondence in this informal manner, as you can see below –

    Dear

    Thank you for your immediate response. Boris Devereaux was my client before his death; he died on July 7 2003 with family members in a car accident. When he was alive he deposited the sum of ($ 5.7 million) in the bank, here in Togo .

    The bank gave me an ultimatum to ensure my client’s family Boris Devereaux claims the funds or they will have it confiscated.

    It have been a long time i have been searching and praying how i can find any of his relative, i decided to go into internet search to find any relative of Boris Devereaux but to no avail, before i found you and i decided to contact you for the claim of fund in the bank and to give you more details .

    I would like you to give me this following information’s below

    1. Your full name and surname
    2. Address of residence
    3. A scanned copy of any identification.
    4. Marital Status
    5. Personal phone number (mobile)
    6. Your profession
    7. Age and nationality

    All I need your permission to present you as next of kin of my deceased client Boris Devereaux to the bank , so they can transfer the funds into your bank account as the only surviving relative of Boris Devereaux .

    I’ll start going to the Supreme Court here, in order to obtain a legal affidavit that would bear your full name and information , authorizing the bank to transfer the fund to you as a legally appointed as the next of kin / beneficiary. This legal oath gives you the right to apply for these funds.

    With this information, I will go to court and obtain the necessary legal documents in your name, after receiving the documents and submission of legal documents to the bank; we will then make a formal application to the bank to transfer funds into your bank account.

    Finally, in order to avoid misunderstandings, I want you to confirm your agreement with me. Me and you will share the fund together after the bank transfer the fund into your bank account.

    Barrister Frank Kufu

  • And my response –

    Hello Mr Kufu

    My wife and I have decided fly out and deal with this immediately. We have booked flights to Lome Togo and are scheduled to fly in at 1pm Thursday 3rd July. Can you recommend a hotel which is handy to the airport and your offices and arrange to meet us at the airport so we can begin to sort this out with you? I have no record of a Boris Devereaux in our ancestry, but the family tree is very vague before my Grandfather’s time.

    Thank you Mr Kufu

    Mr Devereaux

  • More correspondence 🙂 🙂 🙂 Now I’m “Mr Devereaux Bunch”.

    Mr Devereaux Bunch

    Am in receipt of your mail and everything you wrote is well understood . That is very nice , You re welcome .

    Am very glad and happy about the development .

    First and foremost you re to forward your information’s i requested from you below so i can write an application to the bank and other protocols the bank may like to undergo before your arrival .

    I would like you to give me this following information’s below

    1. Your full name and surname
    2. Address of residence
    3. A scanned copy of any identification.
    4. Marital Status
    5. Personal phone number (mobile)
    6. Your profession
    7. Age and nationality

    Please send me a scan copy of your flight ticket immediately for endorsement and it will enable me use it to book a hotel for you .

    Happy to meet your family once again .

    Greetings to your family .

    Am waiting urgently to receive the following information’s

    Thanks

    Barrister Frank kufu

  • Here’s the latest email from my own personal scammer:

    Dear

    Good day .

    Am still waiting to hear from you regarding my last mail to you .

    Please reply as soon as possible.

    Encase you you did not not find the mail this a copy of the mail below

    Mr Devereaux Bunch

    Am in receipt of your mail and everything you wrote is well understood . That is very nice , You re welcome .

    Am very glad and happy about the development .

    First and foremost you re to forward your information’s i requested from you below so i can write an application to the bank and other protocols the bank may like to undergo before your arrival .

    I would like you to give me this following information’s below

    1. Your full name and surname
    2. Address of residence
    3. A scanned copy of any identification.
    4. Marital Status
    5. Personal phone number (mobile)
    6. Your profession
    7. Age and nationality

    Please send me a scan copy of your flight ticket immediately for endorsement and it will enable me use it to book a hotel for you.

    Happy to meet your family once again .

    Greetings to your family .

    Am waiting urgently to receive the following information’s

    Thanks

    Barrister Frank kufu

    • And here’s my reply:

      Hello Mr Fuku

      Sorry for the delay, we’ve been driving across the Nullarbor Plain where there is little internet connect-ability. We’re now heading up the East Coat of Australia to Sydney, where we’ll be leaving from. I have answered your questions below, I hope it helps to get things moving.

      1. Your full name and surname Brutus Marcus Devereaux
      2. Address of residence No fixed address – we’re in a campervan travelling around Australia
      3. A scanned copy of any identification.
      4. Marital Status Happy, thank you
      5. Personal phone number (mobile) I don’t have a phone – I have an ipad
      6. Your profession Self Funded Retiree
      7. Age and nationality 47 Austrian

      I will have my passport and other identification when we arrive in Lome Togo this Thursday. Have you booked us a motel near your office yet? What is the address of your office and phone number? I think we should arrange things as we’ll be booking our campervan into storage late tomorrow afternoon.

      Cheers 🙂

      Bruce

  • Another message from my barrister, marked ‘Urgent’ this time. The odd thing is, even though he knows I’m flying in tomorrow (note: not actually flying anywhere), he’s still after my identification. It’s like he really, really wants it before I arrive.

    “Mr Brutus Marcus Devereaux

    If you are not able to scan the details of your flight ticket schedule please look at the flight ticket schedule now and write down every information’s in the ticket and send to me so it will be forwarded to the bank for immediate attention on your arrival here and other procedures.

    Please write it down , I am waiting .

    Barrister Frank kufu”

  • And my response –

    Hi Frank

    Disappointed you haven’t mentioned arranging accommodation and pick up for us or given us your contact details, as I was hoping to call you before we left. But we’re handling that ourselves now. I believe my wife said we’ll be staying at the Mecure Sarakawa or the Hotel Palm Beach. I can’t remember which at the moment. She has a family acquaintance in the Austrian Embassy in Tome Logo who has agreed to run us around and show us the sights, which will be great. I may not be contactable for a little while now, as we’re staying with my brother and going out for dinner (the local Policeman’s Ball, so they’ll probably be wanting a donation of some sort – I’ll be able to promise them a sizable amount with this inheritance in the pipeline).

    Please email your details and I’ll contact you when we’re in town. Looking forward to meeting you and getting this sorted.

    Cheers 🙂

    Bruce

  • Frank hasn’t emailed me back, so I’ve sent this tonight 🙂 I’m going to miss our little tête-à-tête:

    “Dear Frank

    We haven’t made it out of Sydney airport!

    For the last 20 hours my wife and I have been questioned by officers after we declared the reason for our booking a trip to Lome Togo. They think we are involved in some sort of crime!! Fraud!!!

    I haven’t even been allowed to speak to my wife since we were separated and taken into interrogation rooms. Now they’ve decided to officially lay charges they’ve allowed me to contact my lawyer and naturally I decided I should contact you because you’re a barrister AND you can explain the circumstances surrounding our going to meet you and the inheritance you’re organizing for us.

    Please email back your phone number and details IMMEDIATELY so I can give them to the officer and my wife and I can get out of this predicament.

    Bruce”

  • And tonight I sent a follow up:

    Mr Kufu

    Please contact me immediately with your contact details. The officers have taken possession of my iPad now but have permitted me to continue to try contact you. They’re also attempting to track your emails and locate your office themselves. Please, please, please send a return email so my wife and I can sort of this business and get out of these holding cells. Thank you. Brutus (Bruce) Devereaux

    • Simply wonderful! I have been laughing at your posts all morning. As a mum of a large family with a tiny income I can totally relate to almost all your stories 🙂

  • We’re off again!! 😀 😀

    Attention Sir/Madam,

    I am Mr.Hussien Hazmi. I am an attorney.I am contacting you to solicit for your help to receive on behalf of my late client the sum of $7.8 Million United State Dollars from a bank as his next of kin since you share the same last name with.He died in 2006 having no named person as his next of kin.

    Waiting for your response.

    Regards

  • To which I’ve replied: This sounds fantastic! But I’ve answered these sorts of things and had no financial benefit. How come yours will be any different?

    • Bruce, hubby has received the same emails. (Different named solicitor etc of course). I’m going to forward this post to him.

      We might do the same as you too 😉 hilarious.

  • This just in: You have received a donation of $2m from Mr. Paul White. Kindly contact him via email on [email protected] for more details. I’ve responded that I’m not a charity. At least not that I’m aware.

  • Good news!Mr Hussien Hazmi has got back to me. “You may have received this kind of mail before or may have responded and at the end you did not get anything in return.I want you to well be assured that this time,you will get the money.if and only if you give me your co-operation and work with me in this transaction.” Well, I certainly feel assured this time 😀

  • and it looks so genuine too. Happy smiling chap. Please keep me updated on your progress. I am finding my self in need of a ‘family’ loan

  • I got a similar one this morning.. from a higher power apparently… Its very convincing too..

    “You were chosen by God to receive my Cash Grant Donation of $2,000,000 USD

    Please contact:
    Mrs.Patricia Chandler via email (email provided)”

    now the entertaining thing here is that appears the email address it was sent FROM is attached to a catholic school in the UK… My dilemma is which do I contact for best entertainment the spammer or the school admin?

  • THIS WEEK’S OFFER : 😀 😀 😀
    Good Day My Good Friend,
    ‪mr.chrisbello‬ ‪ Oct 4 at 3:26 AM
    Good Day My Good Friend,

    How are you doing together with your entire family, I hope all is well? Please carefully read and understand my reason of contacting you through this email. I am Mr. Chris Bello. The Chief International Relationship Manager Foreign Remittance Unit Ecobank (ECB). Ouagadougou Burkina – Faso West Africa.

    I want to contact you for a very beneficial business transaction. There is an abandoned sum of Twelve Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars. ($12.5 Million) that was deposited by a late customer of this bank called Mr. Paul Wellstone.

    A very prominent man who was doing business transaction with my bank here in Burkina Faso. He was a citizen of United state of America and Its was after my research that i realized about his death.

    The bank has no knowledge about his death up to date. Upon this discovery that i decided to make this business proposal to you since the banking laws and guidelines here stipulate that if such funds remain unclaimed here after 12 years, the money will be transferred into the Central Bank Treasury as unclaimed fund.

    My stand to contact you now is that, a foreigner has the legal right to put claim to such deposit whereby the proof is there. Therefore, I want you to apply as his business partner. This transaction is going to be a success because, a foreigner is compulsorily needed to present himself or herself as the next of kin to this deceased bank customer and hence the beneficiary of the fund because the fund depositor was a foreigner.

    I therefore, desperately need your assistance to claim and receive this fund into your account. For the assistance in this transaction, you will be entitled to have 40% of the total fund in respect of the provision of your bank account and the assistance you are to render on the process.

    55% would be for me as the originator and initiator of the transaction, and the rest 5% will be used to off-set any minor expenses which may arise during the process of transferring the fund into your account. I and my entire family will leave here immediately to your country when once the transfer is done.

    Please Endeavour to keep this transaction very secret and highly confidential because i will lose my position if the bank authority here finds out that you and I are collaborating in this “Special transaction”.

    Please also be rest-assured that this business is 100% risk-free, and all the information and data’s you will need to make successful claim of this fund in the bank here are fully ready with me here.

    Please urgently confirm your willingness and interest to assist me by producing and sending back to me the needed information below and also call me when once you replied.

    1, Your Full Name :
    2, Your Country :
    3, Your Age :
    4 Sex :
    5, Date of birth :
    6, Occupation :
    7, Telephone Number :
    8, Fax :
    9, Private Email Address :

    Thanks and best regards.
    Mr. Chris Bello

  • Hi Chris and Colin

    I saw that report on your win on the news. Amazing! Can I ask, why have you chosen me?

    Can’t wait to hear from you

    Brutus

  • Attn Brutus,

    I am in receipt of your email content noted and well understood!Regards to why you were chosen,After i and my wife was announced the Luck winners of the Jackpot we made a vow to God that this year 2014 December to reach out to 20 people from what the lord has blesses us with as part of our charity,so you happens to be one of the Luck winner,you are advice to contact Mr. Neil Taylor via this Email: [email protected] with your Name,Address and phone Number to guide you on how you can receive the $usd 1.5 million Dollars,Quote this code Ref No:FB115G!

  • Hi Colin

    Wow! Amazing! Now I can give my grandma the new kidney she needs to survive. I called her up last night and she cried. You are making this family so happy. She wants to do something for you. Not a big thing – we’re not rich. Do you have an address so she can send you a hand knitted jumper? She’s really very good at them. Also, can I just ask why you’re giving away American dollars when you live in Scotland? Is there some sort of legalese reason?

    Brutus

  • Sounds legit 😀

    Seasonal Greetings from us

    I have perusal your email content noted and very explicit, its only the Lord’s doing we are very happy that you about to give your Grandma a new kidney through our charity benevolence which you are bout to benefit from! Regards to your Grandma’s gift please tell her we appreciate it okay, The reason we are giving out American Dollars is because its the world most accepted currency and there’s legalese reason also as advised by our Lawyer, and we are currently on a charity mission in USA so i will advice you contact Mr. Neil Taylor via this Email: [email protected] with your Name, Address and phone Number to guide you on how you can receive the usd$ 1.5 million Dollars, Quote this code Ref No:FB115G!

    Note: You are to receive this Donation before Christmas.

    Keep us posted as soon as you contact Mr Neil Taylor

    Best of luck.

    Colin & ChrisWeir

  • Hi Colin and Chris

    How do I know you are real? My sister answered one of your emails earlier this year and didn’t receive any money. I think there may be people out there pretending to be you.

    Brutus

  • Attn Brutus,

    Seasonal Greetings from us

    I am in receipt of of your content noted and well understood,that is the reason you were asked to contact Mr Neil Taylor via this [email protected] because he’s the only person in charge to release your Donated Amount,any other person outside Mr Neil Taylor is a Hoax, Miscreants and scoundrel and we have the police at alert!

    Note:You are to claim this Donation on or Before 24th of December

    Keep us apprise as soon as you hear from Mr Neil Taylor,Again you are to keep this to yourself until after you have receive this Donation Miscreants and scoundrel.

    Best of luck.

    Colin & ChrisWeir

  • ATTN: I’m Rich!!!

    Hello

    Colin and Chris said I have won some money 🙂 What do I need to do?

    Brutus

    The Devereaux Bunch

  • Dear Winner,

    I have perusal your Email content very explicit, Regards to what you need to do, just Forward me your Name, Address and phone Number immediately to enable me process the Release of your Donated Prize of $1,5 Million Dollars!

    Again Indicate How you would want to receive your Donation, Via BANK to BANK transfer, ATM CARD, AND CERTIFIED BANK CHECK? if you wish to receive your Prize via bank to bank transfer, you are also to forward me your bank account details to expedite the release of your Prize

    Reply Quick

    Mr Neil Taylor

  • Dear beloved,

    Hopefully you’re in good health,

    I presumed that all is well with you and your family. Please let this not be a surprised message to you because I got your contact information from the international directory few days ago through the help of Reverend Sister after my fasting and prayer before I decided to contact you on this magnitude and lucrative transaction for our present and future survival in life. I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. my name is Udala François, the only daughter and the only child of late Mr. François Kabore, I am 19 years old girl, My father was the former Director of Gold and Cotton productions and exportation in Burkina Faso Government. He and my beloved mother were involved in missing plane flying from Burkina Faso to Algeria on 24 Jul 2014.

    You can read more through the website: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/algeria/10988441/Missing-plane-flying-from-Burkina-Faso-to-Algeria-has-crashed.html

    After the burial of my late parents, my uncle conspired with the rest of the family members and sold my father’s properties to a Switzerland specialist rate which they shared the money among themselves and left nothing for me, one faithful morning, I opened my father’s briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank here in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. when my uncles found out that am the next of kin to the account they threaten to kill me because of my age and have the money all alone and I ran to Orphanage Home for protection that is where am living currently for my dear life.

    I visited the bank here in Burkina Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, on my arrival, the bank director whom I met in person told me that my father’s instruction to the bank is that the money would only be release to me when I am above 25 years or present a foreign trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas for my safety from the hands of my uncles. I am in search of a honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him/her to the bank for transfer of the money to his or her bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own daughter/sister.

    Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the true person to help me, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncles has threatened to assassinate me. The amount is ($4.8 us )million united state dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank here in Burkina Faso, you will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your country until am through with my studies. However, you will help me by recommending a nice university in your country so that I can complete my studies.

    When the money is into your account 35% will be for you in respect of all your assistance for the transfer of the money into your account and of the bank account where the bank will remit the money, 60% will be for me being the owner of the money while the rest 5% will be shared to respectable organizations such as charity and the destitute homes around us. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.

    I beg you not to disclose it till I come over because I am afraid of my reckless uncles who has threatened to kill me and have the money alone, I have confirmed from the bank with the documents I have at hand I will send my picture to you in my next mail. If you are really sure of your trustworthiness, account ability and confidentiality on this transaction, respond back to me and remove the thought of cheating or disappointing me from your mind when the money is transferred into your account. I’m waiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to yourself.

    Yours sincerely
    Udala François Kabore

  • Today at 12:04 PM
    Dear beloved,

    Hopefully you’re in good health,

    I presumed that all is well with you and your family. Please let this not be a surprised message to you because I got your contact information from the international directory few days ago through the help of Reverend Sister after my fasting and prayer before I decided to contact you on this magnitude and lucrative transaction for our present and future survival in life. I am writing this mail to you with tears and sorrow from my heart. my name is Udala François, the only daughter and the only child of late Mr. François Kabore, I am 19 years old girl, My father was the former Director of Gold and Cotton productions and exportation in Burkina Faso Government. He and my beloved mother were involved in missing plane flying from Burkina Faso to Algeria on 24 Jul 2014.

    You can read more through the website: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/algeria/10988441/Missing-plane-flying-from-Burkina-Faso-to-Algeria-has-crashed.html

    After the burial of my late parents, my uncle conspired with the rest of the family members and sold my father’s properties to a Switzerland specialist rate which they shared the money among themselves and left nothing for me, one faithful morning, I opened my father’s briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank here in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. when my uncles found out that am the next of kin to the account they threaten to kill me because of my age and have the money all alone and I ran to Orphanage Home for protection that is where am living currently for my dear life.

    I visited the bank here in Burkina Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, on my arrival, the bank director whom I met in person told me that my father’s instruction to the bank is that the money would only be release to me when I am above 25 years or present a foreign trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas for my safety from the hands of my uncles. I am in search of a honest and reliable person who will help me and stand as my trustee so that I will present him/her to the bank for transfer of the money to his or her bank account overseas. I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own daughter/sister.

    Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the true person to help me, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncles has threatened to assassinate me. The amount is ($4.8 us )million united state dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank here in Burkina Faso, you will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your country until am through with my studies. However, you will help me by recommending a nice university in your country so that I can complete my studies.

    When the money is into your account 35% will be for you in respect of all your assistance for the transfer of the money into your account and of the bank account where the bank will remit the money, 60% will be for me being the owner of the money while the rest 5% will be shared to respectable organizations such as charity and the destitute homes around us. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.

    I beg you not to disclose it till I come over because I am afraid of my reckless uncles who has threatened to kill me and have the money alone, I have confirmed from the bank with the documents I have at hand I will send my picture to you in my next mail. If you are really sure of your trustworthiness, account ability and confidentiality on this transaction, respond back to me and remove the thought of cheating or disappointing me from your mind when the money is transferred into your account. I’m waiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to yourself.

    Yours sincerely
    Udala François Kabore

  • I just received a very exciting email – the UN wants to send me money!!! Fark the poor, ill and impoverished! I’m RICH!!!!

    Attention Dear Beneficiary,
    In marking our 21st anniversary; The Office of Internal Oversight Services (OIOS), United Nations (UN) is giving out developmental grant to 155 lucky people (5 persons every day) this August 2015, This e-mail officially selects you for the donations scheme to receive 1,500,000.00 GBP (2,340,547.80 USD) this day 16-8-2015.
    We herein informed you that your payment is ready via BANK TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER PAYMENT SYSTEM.
    For advise on how to confirm your fund into your account within the next 72 hours, send 1. Full Name: …. 2. Current Residence Address: ……. and 3. Direct Phone Number: ……

    Contact Personnel:
    Helen Clark (Mrs.)
    NOTE: NO clearance fee is required.

    Sincerely,
    The Office of Internal Oversight Services (OIOS)
    United Nations ©

  • Hi . My name is Mark and I’m from the UK.
    I love your blog and found it very funny. Since November 2015 I have had lot’s of email letting me know of millions of us dollars that is owed to me. Some are from the Ban ki moon and another from the FYI. I’ve had such fun stringing the soppy plonkers along and I now look forward to their daily attempts to scam me. Keep up your very funny blog please. Regards Mark Holt.

  • From Mrs Jennifer Buller:

    Greetings you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Am Mrs. Jennifer Buller, Am 57 years old widow suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, I want to share an important message from the Lord for you. I hope you can email me back so i can pass on the Good News to you.

    God Bless You
    Mrs. Jennifer Buller

  • Mrs Jennifer Buller:

    My Dear Friend, I am very sure you can make a lot of difference by replying to my mail, become good friends in our Lord Jesus Christ and see that with greater power comes greater responsibility. You can make a lot of changes in the life of others with this great offer from the Lord through me to you, most especially the poor at heart, and the less privileged. Firstly, I think i would start all with a proper introduction of myself.

    I am Mrs. Jennifer Buller, A widow to Late Scott Buller. I am 57 years old widow, suffering from long time cancer of the breast. From all indications, my condition is really deteriorating and is quite obvious that I may not live more than two months according to my doctor, because the stage at which my cancer is (Level 3), it is so critical and also to a very severe stage. My personal physician told me that I may not live for more than 2 months and I am so scared about it. My late husband and i both grew up in a motherless home in Australia we got married and we travel to the United States for our wedding and we decided to stay back there simply because it is a lovely place to stay and we were given a permanent stay after so many years of stay and also we have no child of our own due to one problem and the other, Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against even though i wish i had. It is late now you know, and age is no longer on my side. but i still believe the lord will send me someone that will make me smile which is you because the bible says in the book of

    Psalms 119:116 Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live, and let me not ashamed of my hope.
    Psalms 138: 7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou will revive me……
    Psalms 145:18Psalms 57: 7 My heart is fixed. O God my heart is fixed, I will sing & give praise
    Psalms51: 17 The sacrifices of God are broken spirit, a broken & contrite heart, O God thou will not despise.
    psalms 41: 1 Blessed is he that considereth the poor, the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble.

    Two of my favorite verses: Philippians 2:27: For indeed he was sick nigh unto death, but God had mercy on him & that on him only, but on me also,lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.( I always say this in my mind)

    So, I now decide to give all of my wealth, by contributing to the development of the motherless baby homes,less privileges, needy, poor, charity homes,widows and Cancer patient too in your country and i just want you to forget about the distance between me and you. I am willing to donate the sum of $5.000,000.00, which is still the major inheritance i have left. I wish you could be someone who i could trust with all my heart, to make this wish of mine come true despite the my prayers over you before i get to contact you.

    I really need you to use the funds to help the poor which is very essential and also the widow and cancer patient as me. I know this is hard, but you should keep this saying in your heart, I am like Moses in the Bible. He came to the Red Sea and Pharaoh behind him and no way to turn but God delivered him all by a miraculous deliverance. It will be a miracle from God to be able to help all the dear people God has laid on our hearts, as you have been laid on my heart to do is will.

    This is why with God in my heart i contact you and i want you to contact me so we be in contact with all the poor souls out there. Give new lives, hopes and days. I have come to find out that wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity and i hope you will agree with this also. I will be praying hard that Satan will not stop this effort. Do contact me and i will tell you more of what you wish to know. Note that the Lord have a great reason for me contacting you and i will be very grateful if you will heed to the call of the Lord by replying to me.

    Yours in Christ,
    Mrs. Jennifer Buller

  • Mrs Jennifer Buller:

    My Dear Friend ,

    I read your email and and it is well understood and i want you to note that i don’t know you and i don’t even know who you are or where you come from but the Lord whom i serve is so loving and helpful as he never forget his own people i want you to know that i have been thinking of what to do over this funds for some period of years now simply because i know that the money is of no use to me any longer simply because of the stage at which my cancer has gotten.

    I am a very prayerful person and it was when i was praying sometimes ago that the Lord revealed to me i don’t know if i should call it a dream or a vision i was told that i should go into the world and bless the world with what the almighty God has used in blessing i and my late husband. The vision seems so terrific and i was so bothered that i had a day fasting and prayer over it and someone in my church then interpret the meaning of my dreams to me telling me that i am having something which is in need in the world and he want me to use it to bless the world and the person asked me to think very well because it is the voice of the Lord that has spoken to me and all that.

    I searched myself very well and i get to remember that i am having the fund which i and my late husband had labored for so many years and i contacted the fidelity bank as the beneficiary of the funds and i was confirmed the owner of the funds and am asked to come around and get it exactly when am ready to but i should made awareness of when i will be coming so that proper arrangement would be made then but it is a pity i cant go which you know.

    I had another dream which made me realize that i must not be in possession of the money and i should go into the world and look for someone in the world to distribute the funds in a Godly manner. So i decided to search with the name related to a woman who took very good care of me when i was dump by my runaway parents. i was brought up in a motherless baby home and so i told my nurse to help me get an internet account after that i decided to search and i got about 1065 profiles and i prayed over it and you know whats funny ? among all the profiles i chose it was yours that the Lord has chosen to distribute this funds as a sacrifice from the lord to the world.

    It is a means of you been committed to the Lord and this will make you move closer to him as well and i am very sure that he must certainly have a reason why he want you to do this on his behalf please be strong and have faith in yourself and in me and make me realize that you will do it just because i know you can do it and i see you doing it right among everyone else….

    Hope i read from you soonest and please make sure that you never forget me in your prayers kindly get back to me thanks and God bless you and your household make a prayer over it and you will smell it around you the Lord will not come down to call his own people he will send someone to you now he has sent me to you.

    God bless you abundantly……….in his riches………………Amen

    Yours in Christ,
    Mrs. Jennifer Buller

  • Me:

    My dearest benefactor

    Can I have a photo of you so I might light a candle and pray for your early demise? It would mean the world to me and my children.

    Brutus

  • Mrs Jennifer Buller:

    My Dear FRIEND

    I want you to know this great mission of you helping me in donating my fund to the less privilege is the will of God who created heaven and earth so,my dearest one in the lord i want you to help me handle this mission with fear of the lord.

    More so, i want you to get back to me and tell me more about you and send some of your pics on my email address so,i can put them beside my bed here. Lastly,i will check my dairy for the security code in which you will be contacting the fidelity Bank for the release of my fund to you for the said purpose more so,i must let you know that i was happily married to my Late husband and he was a great industrialist who works with government all which was the source of his wealth and success but,although our years of marriage we never had a child which base on the will of God so,now that i don’t have any child who can help me with this that is why i had to tell God to send me an angel then i came in and contact you fate that you will be generating this for the said purpose so,i don’t want you to turn down this mission as you have been instructed by the lord.

    I want to let you know that you are the chosen one, so do not contact anyone regarding my fund until the funds gets to you due to some security purpose Okay?its you and me only all i need now is your trust honesty and faith and i also want you to promise me you will use the funds for the said purpose.

    I wait to hear from you and please do keep me in your daily prayers.

    God bless you
    Mrs. Jennifer Buller

  • Me:

    Dearest Mrs Buller

    This time I choose the blue pill.

    Please send me your photo so I may visualise you in my prayers when seeking guidance and investment advice from The Oracle.

    Nero

  • Mrs Jennifer Buller:

    My dear Friend, I want you to know that am right here lying down on the sick bed at the hospital waiting for the lord’s call but i really want this mission to be well accomplished by the God sent Angel who will be doing this on my behalf which is you so,this are the information’s you need to forward to the bank because when the fund was deposited they gave me this secret information’s should in case I want to withdraw it for security purpose for them to identify my consignment which is the fund.

    The information’s are below I am giving and releasing this vital and secret information’s of mine to you with trust and confidence cos I have gotten you as my next of kin to do this faithful work for God and subsequently to Human.

    Depositors Name: Mrs.Jennifer Buller
    Batch no: 44860050040
    Year Deposited: 2001
    Secret Question: Who is Depositor
    Answer: Mrs.Jennifer Buller
    Security Code: 80602040020

    The above are the information’s you need to forward to the Bank and send them your full name address and contact phone numbers so that when they approve you to receive the fund they will get in touch with you, Here’s the bank contact information’s below.

    Name of Bank: Fidelity Bank Plc
    Bank Director: Dr. Nnamdi Okonkwo
    Email Address: [email protected]
    Mobile Number: +2348130722290

    My dearest one in Christ, please contact the Bank and the director with the above information’s and please make sure you send your phone number or mobile number to them for easy communications, keep me updated as soon as they transfer the fund to you. And don’t get carried away by this amount, its just money, its not half as good as good name.

    Lastly, i have attached my pictures, so make sure the security details is been attached when contacting the Bank for you to be recognized as my newly elected next of kin in claiming my fund for the said purpose more so,my fund is a legit fund which hold nothing against the law and am putting you in position of claiming my fund due to the reason that i have limited time to live on this earth and i will prefer my money been used for the will of God.

    Make sure you call the bank director phone number after sending the mail for the claim of my fund for urgent response cause, i really want this money to be release to you for the said mission and also i want you to please make this very confidential until the money as been transferred to you. Always put me in your daily prayers do not forget my wish.

    God Bless You

    Mrs. Jennifer Buller

    And I kid you not, she’s sent me NINE PHOTOS OF GINA RINEHART!!!

  • Well, I never pictured Gina Rinehart as such a pious and caring soul… Careful of the family looking for cuts out of that one!

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