Table Talk


“All we need to do,” I told my wife, “is buy an old table and cut the legs down. I’ve got a saw!” Anyone who’s ever seen or heard about my efforts with a hammer is now shuddering involuntarily.

The Sting


“Can I have everyone’s attention please!” I said at work, raising my voice when there were no customers in the branch. “I have something to say which you all need to know.”