My Son Is So Devonair
byMy little boy is growing up. He now demands two sandwiches for lunch. But it’s not because he’s getting any taller…
My little boy is growing up. He now demands two sandwiches for lunch. But it’s not because he’s getting any taller…
Is there anything scarier than finding something physically amiss with your kid?
“All we need to do,” I told my wife, “is buy an old table and cut the legs down. I’ve got a saw!” Anyone who’s ever seen or heard about my efforts with a hammer is now shuddering involuntarily.
Grandad is in trouble. Again.
I’m rarely surprised in this house but tonight I witnessed something I think there is no a precedent for – my wife giving one of our kids a snack before dinner.
My childhood has come back to haunt me. Not since I was in primary school have I felt so vulnerable. It hurt. It hurt bad.
“I think she needs a nappy changed,” Tracey told me on Sunday morning as Miss2 waddled by with a nappy so full it was bobbing along between her knees like a bee’s stinger. It was full in the same way the Titanic has taken on a little water.
I’m not a cycling fanatic. In fact, my preparation for this ride was an exhausting four and a half kilometer ride to my friends place on the previous Thursday, so he could check the oil and water and load it on the car.
The good thing about kicking the kids into the backyard is having the house to myself for an hour. Well, that’s the dream.
If I confess I rather enjoyed my son breaking his finger, does that make me a bad parent?
At the risk of appearing conceited, I have decided I am a genius.
“I’ve always wanted five kids,” the checkout chick at IGA said to me last Thursday when the five kids and I rocked up to her counter.
“Can I have everyone’s attention please!” I said at work, raising my voice when there were no customers in the branch. “I have something to say which you all need to know.”
I love nothing more than finding a reason to run down to the local hardware where I can check out the tape measures. These are the only ‘tools’ Tracey lets me play with these days. I have five.
“From now on we’re sitting at the table with the kids for every meal,” Tracey told me this week.