Show And Tell All

I learned something at school today – if you want to know what the gossip is about you around town, talk to a prep teacher.

Today is the first day of my ever so brief holiday (I’m off the rest of this week for a minor procedure) so I took advantage of being home to take my sprockets to school. Or rather, Tracey took advantage of me being home to not take the sprockets to school. Either way, I ended up in young Miss5’s prep class watching her Show & Tell presentation.

Miss5 decided to bring in a ‘coloured sand man’ she made while we were holidaying on the Gold Coast in 2009. It used to have a nose and a milk bottle attached to it – cause hers was a baby bottle – but now it’s barely holding onto it’s hair, eyes and arms.

The bottle of sand wasn’t her first choice though. Her first choice was every doll and bit of doll furniture in her room, which Tracey caught her trying to shove into her schoolbag. The sweetener which convinced Miss5 to take the bottle of coloured sand was a photobook Tracey had put together of the holiday.

“It’s so cute watching them do Show & Tell. I’ve marked the page showing the kids making the bottles,” Tracey had said this morning, pushing the big, white book into my arms before shoving me out the door. “Have fun,” she beamed, no doubt deciding between a fresh cup of coffee or maybe a lie down.

It was during the book showing I had a sample of how these crafty teachers extract all manner of gossip from the kids – they let them talk about whatever they want. Things sure have changed since I was in primary school.

“And this is the bottle my big brother made,” said Miss5, pointing at Master20’s effort (when we do a group activity we are all in). “His coloured sand man has a bottle on it too, but his is alcohol. He really, really likes his alcohol.” What a wholesome picture you’re painting of your family, Miss5. If I can ever catch him sober I’ll let Master20 know you think he’s got a drinking problem.

This no doubt explains some of the stories the kids bring home about some of the other parents.

So if you’re wondering why the teachers occasionally give you a sympathetic look or disapproving smile when you pick up your little darling I’d suggest sitting in on your kid’s Show & Tell. You might learn something fabulously wicked about yourself or your family.