The writing’s on the wall

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My oldest two came with me as a box set to my second marriage. I’ve seen a lot of blended families come through work. Some work better than others.

I was very lucky with my oldest two. Tracey saw no barriers, and neither did her parents. They’re Tracey’s kids, and by extension they’re her parents’ grandkids and her great-grandparents’ great-grandkids. The word ‘family’ means a lot around here.

One of the most disturbing things I’ve heard at work was a grandparent talking about their daughter’s step-son.

“That’s HIS child,” they said, like the kid doesn’t count. Their daughter’s latest kid, their ‘real’ grandchild, is molly-coddled and praised and spoiled, but not this older kid. It’s horrible. It’s wrong. It happens all the time.

Clearly this has occurred to Geoffrey, Master20, as well. The other day he posted this message on Tracey’s Facebook wall:

“I don’t think I’ve ever publicly said this before Tracey, but I love you and I am incredibly blessed to have you in my life.

You were thrust into a situation where you suddenly had two little kids and you treated us like your own. Not only did you manage to keep your head above water but you made swimming look easy. You looked after us and gave us an incredible life.

I love that you get offended if people even hint at Mishaela and I not being counted as your kids. lol. You are an amazing individual and deserve the best. Thank you for the wonderful life and quality memories we’ve shared together.”

She cried. We all got a little teary actually. I can tell Tracey how wonderful she’s been with all my kids but there’s something very special about it coming from where her attitude to her step children has made the most difference.

Afterall, whether we’re parents, children, step children or step parents, we’re all family and we all want the same things: to be acknowledged and loved and accepted.

 

9 Comments

  • My eldest is from my first marriage but if you ask my husband how many children he has, he will reply ‘4’ instantly. His parents are the same. My eldest has always been treated like the others from the whole family and I expect nothing less. Well done to you all. Tracey sounds like a super woman.

  • That’s really sweet. My best friend has a few brothers and a sister and even though I *know*, I always forget that some of them are only half siblings or step siblings because both her parents are on their second marriage. I always forget because in their family there IS no ‘step’ or ‘half’ siblings – just brothers and sisters. It’s how they were raised and it’s how they behave.

  • My husband has a ‘blended’ family, and my biological father is different to that of my sister and brother. The words “step” or his / hers / yours / theirs do not exist in our familial lines. My son knows no different, he just has 6 grandparents where other kids might only have 4, or 2, or none. We’re just family. A big one at that. Credits to you guys on successfully building a big family too.

  • This brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful way of seeing how precious family is. Your son must of had some great nurturing to be willing to express his thanks so publicly.

  • Onya Tracey! Being a parent is not about giving birth but about love. It’s an attitude. And you get back (hopefully) what you give out. You have been Geoffrey’s role model and his appreciation is proof of your unconditional love. You should be proud.

  • That is amazing! We are currently a blended family of 5, my fiance Sam, myself, wonderful step children Alexis 6 and Thomas 4, we lost our first child together William when he was 6wks old, we have a daughter together Edith 8mnths old and we have another due in april just 2 wks after little Eds first birthday. I very very rarely refer to the older two as my step children I have been taking care of them since Tom was 1, their mother is incredibly absent. My family is the same as your lovely wifes, they see Tom and Lex as their grandkids, great grandkids, neice, nephew etc. My kids (ALL of my kids) are my life, my job, my passion. I hope that one day when they are older they appreciate both Sam and I the way your children obviously appreciate you and your wife!

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