The Inconceivable Truth About My Favourite Princess Movie

Princess crown

“Are you sure this movie is suitable for the kids?” my wife asked me with more than a hint of skepticism in her voice. It wasn’t the first time she’d asked, nor was it the second. Or third.

In fact, every time someone died, or even nearly died, on screen she tended to get a bit tetchy.

Miss10 wasn’t thrilled either.ย “You said this was a princess movie,” she accused me. She’s used to Barbie style princesses.

“Trust me,” I said for the umpteenth time. “This movie has a princess. You’ve met her.”

“The farm girl?”

“Even better than a princess,” I continued, ignoring her tone, “it’s also got sword fights, a pirate, a giant,” she looked even more doubtful so I threw in the clincher, “and true love.” I turned my attention to Tracey. “And the DVD says it’s rated PG so it’s all good. Plus I love this movie.ย It’s perfect for kids. Trust me,” I said again to Miss10. “You’ll love it.”

“When?”

“Very soon.”

The Princess Bride is a classic movie which enriched my life as I grew up. I have many fond memories built around this film, mainly involving the word ‘inconceivable’.

<SPOILER ALERT>

“How old were you when you first watched this?” Tracey asked me as a giant rat tried to gnaw a limb off the hero.

I must admit, at this point in the movie I was pleased Miss4 and Miss6 were staying at Grandma’s because there would have been screams instead of the soft whimperings Miss10 and Master8 were producing.

“I don’t know how old I was,” I said. “Ten? Eleven? Twelve?” I did some quick mental maths. The movie came out in 1987, so that would have made me… “Twenty.”

The movie took the heat off me at this point because the bad guys tortured the hero to death.

“Are you sure this is a kids’ movie?” This time it was Miss10 asking. “Her true love is dead.ย Where’s my happy ending, Dad?”

“It’s okay,” I told her. “It works out.”

“He’s dead!”

“Yes, but he gets better.”

I was saved by, of all things, the hero of yet another great kids’ movie.

“I know that voice!” said Master8 excitedly, his head appearing from behind a blanket for the first time in several minutes.

“Me too!” said Miss10.

“Mike Wazowski!!” they screamed together.

Billy Crystal sure has a great body of work. Thank goodness.

And then, with (apparently) the greatest kiss of all time, the movie ended. When we tucked these two kids into bed they were smiling, although I forgot to ask them if they were pleased with the way the movie ended or simply relieved it was over. I decided on the former.

“See,” I told my wife as we made ourselves a cuppa in the kitchen. “They loved it. It’s a great kids movie.”

“It wasn’t.”

“They loved it,” I repeated. “Next I’ll show them Labyrinth and The Last Starfighter and The Dark Crystal-”

“-and Alien and A Nightmare On Elm Street,” cut in Tracey.

She’s not convinced. Mainly, I suspect, about my ability to parent. I further suspect the next Princess movie we watch will star that princess of princesses, Barbie.

Which I find completely inconceivable, but probably unavoidable.

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Maybe I just like The Princess Bride because with the right haircut I look a bit like Vizzini ๐Ÿ˜‰

Please share with your friends ๐Ÿ™‚

When not over here, Bruce hangs out at his Big Family Little Income Facebook Page.

โ€Raising a family on little more than laughs.โ€

21 Comments

  • Hilarious! Considering I just had all 3 kids home sick, with EG Dad taking his EG intercontinental. So naturally, I too pulled out The Princess Bride – and before it had even started, Sinister asks “Is this a kissing movie?”

    • My six year old is having an awful time getting to sleep at the moment because they’re discussing Waltzing Matilda at school. I think I’ll hold off showing this film to her for a year or two yet lol

    • ..after 9 1/2 Weeks.

      (This comment would make more sense if it came in straight after the comment it was relating too. I was going to tell you which one it is and then I thought it might be more fun if you have to read through all the comments above to figure it out)

  • Oh.. my fave movie.. I have it in Beta, VHS, DVD and on USB drive… and strangely it never ages (in my mind anyway.. just like me)..

    • I’ve got to say, I had planned on pressing play and walking away. But I got drawn in yet again. Wonderful movie. Makes me smile every time (except the bit with the rats).

  • I LOVE this movie! We were only quoting bits of it last night., Peter Cook’s mawage speech. Definitely a must in the parenting tool box.

  • My favourite movie of all time too! Does everyone say that? I showed the kids when they were 6 and 9. The verdict was, “yeah it was alright”. I was gutted. Then we watched it again when they were 8 and 11. Somehow they completely forgot that they had ever watched it before and this time they LOVED it, and quoted most of it back to me for the next few weeks. Maybe they just have to hit the right age first? They do also like quite a few other “old” movies like The Goonies, all the Back to the Futures, and (not so obviously) Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, which also has princesses in it. They loved that old fashioned way of speaking Bill & Ted have.

    • I haven’t watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure or Bogus Journey for ages. Too long, in fact. My weekend is booking up fast ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Of course it’s a kids movie. It’s got princesses and heroes and challenges, and teaches them about disappointment along the way. Far more practical than those disney princesses who think everything will be all better once a man comes along to fix it. Even being the only girl in a house of boys, I have my boys watching fairy tales, they love Once Upon a Time.

  • My best mates had the ‘Mawage..’ speech at the start of their wedding ceremony.

    And do I detect a fellow Browncoat? My three year old loves Firefly and sings along to the theme song. This may be because he had heard it rather frequently.

    You should show your kids Labyrinth now, before they notice the starring role that David Bowie’s crotch plays. I seriously never noticed when I was a kid.

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