“AhhhHHHHH!!!” screamed Master10. “What have you done to me. Dad!” He was hopping up & down and clutching his shoulder and neck with his good hand. “I’m burning! My whole body is burning!”
“Well stop touching the cream and rubbing it all over yourself, genius,” I told him.
“Why would you do this to me?”
“I’ve made you forget about your arm though, right?”
Instead of going to sleep last night, Master10 was throwing toys at his sister on the top bunk when he fell and landed hard. I gave him a painkiller and a serve and sent him back to bed.
But this morning things hadn’t improved so Tracey headed off to the doctor’s to see if it was broken.
But it genuinely was sore and he came home in a sling.
“Just let me check my emails and I’ll fix you up,” I told Master10 today when I’d arrived home from work.
“Noooo,” he whined. “You have to help me now.”
“Fine,” I said, reaching up above the fridge for the medicine box. “Stick your arm out.”
“No,” he said, wide eyed with horror as I squeezed some cream onto my fingers and reached for his arm. “You’re going to hurt me.”
“No I’m not,” I assured him. “I’m going to help you. This cream will heat up your arm and make you forget all about the pain.”
And, more because he rubbed the stuff all over his neck than because of any medicinal value, it worked.
I wish that was the end of my little story. I’d have found it very, very funny.
“Ahhhhhhhh!!” I wailed, coming into the kitchen hopping and looking pained a few minutes later. I was screaming like a drag queen fresh out of the closet.
“What’s wrong with you?” Master10 asked me.
“I went to the loo!” I said, a big grimace on my face. I’d washed my hands after rubbing the Deep Heat into his arm, but clearly not well enough. “Still got cream on my hands.”
“Ah,” he grinned, “but it made you forget about your emails, didn’t it, Dad?”
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“Raising a family on little more than laughs”