The words I dread as my family tucks into their Christmas lunch at our place are when someone starts a sentence with, “Do you have any…?”
I know before they get to what they want I probably don’t because the entire contents of our fridge and pantry are pretty much on display down the centre of the three or four dining tables butted together.
I spent over $400 on our family’s Christmas feast a few years ago and still managed to forget the custard. No one cared. No one ever does, except the person who feels it was their responsibility.
With that in mind I’ve put together a list of five things I reckon you might want to stock up on before the big day. The good news is they’ll keep so you can get them tomorrow if you like and then relax about it.
But before I get to my top five I thought we might see what the rest of my family thinks. I asked my kids what they believe the most important food related thing to remember for Christmas Day is.
They all said ham. All of them. Because we’ve only had five half legs of the stuff in the last four weeks so, you know, they’re fanging for it.
Top of Tracey’s head was prawns – I assume because she loves watching me peel them for her to eat.
Miss15. Much thought followed my question, to the point I wondered if she’d drifted off to her happy place. “Salad,” she said finally. WTA..!? Salad. Who the jingle bells thinks Christmas means salad?
Master13. There was no hesitation. “Xbox One,” he said, “S.” I told him I meant food, adding “you dolt” because honestly. After a short pause he decided on pavlova. Getting a little excited myself I asked if he meant with like passionfruit pulp all over it and stuff, but I think he was still recovering from my lack of enthusiasm for the Xbox. “Sure,” he shrugged. He wouldn’t be so casual if I pulled out the Christmas pav and it wasn’t pulped up good and proper, I know that for a fact. Also, and I only just discovered this while looking for photos for this post, Woolworths has a page with all the stuff you might need for a pavlova listed in its Christmas Don’t Forget ideas. Stuff like the pulp and cream and bags of frozen berries. Great idea.
Miss11. “Cherries!” Now we’re getting somewhere. Stone fruit for the win! I can’t justify the price of cherries except on Christmas Day, but on this one occasion we essentially by a box. I always love watching the first cherries being eaten because inevitably someone forgets they aren’t like grapes and have a huge pip in the middle.
Miss8. “Nerd ropes.” And we’re back in no mans land. I don’t even know what she’s talking about. I suggested we put this under the heading of lollies, which she was onboard with. “But gluten free ones,” she reminded me.
Miss6. “Presents.” Again, I gave a quick definition of the word food. “Something you might like to discover in your Santa Sack,” I explained. And so now I’ve spent way too long wondering how the other stuff in the sack is going to fair with all the cupcake icing. Are Christmas Cupcakes even a thing?
THE list of 5 Christmas Must-Haves You Probably Won’t Think About
Antacids. I’m not even joking, and don’t pretend this won’t be a problem for you and yours. Quick Eze or Gaviscon or Mylanta something to help with the results of extreme overeating. I’m not saying you’ll be popping these things out like M&M’s but sure as the kids will be up before sunrise if you don’t have any in the house someone will get reflux.
Unwashable cups, plates and bowls. Don’t get all holier than thou with me: today is not the day. I know you hate doing the dishes just as much as I do. Thing is, it’s not just to avoid a sink full of soap suds. We had a party here a few weeks ago and ended up with couples sharing plates because we’d overlooked the fact we only have a minimal amount of this stuff in the house since we’ve come back from our Big Lap endeavours. I’m not a huge fan of throwaway plastics but there’s even disposable cutlery these days, so grab some along with quality paper plates & bowls and cups in the pantry just in case the numbers blow out. Plus it’s infinitely better to give your bachelor brother takeaway leftovers on a paper plate than have to chase back Grandma’s good china in the new year.
Bread. Not talking about your fancy bowl of rolls in the middle of the Christmas buffet here. This is for laters. Leftovers shoved between two slices of plain buttered bread is a meal, even if the only thing you have left is the skin off the roast chook. We’ve always got a loaf or two in the freezer for just such emergencies.
Ice Blocks. There is nothing quite as satisfying as a cold lump of cordial on a lazy Christmas afternoon. Everyone puts so much thought into the mains and fancy pudding desserts but what I want as my stomach struggles with suddenly being expected to impersonate that of a foie gras duck is a cool refreshment and happy kiddies without any effort on my behalf.
Merry Christmas from our little family to yours! We genuinely hope you have as good a time as we intend to, because everyone deserves a little love and maybe even something spesh under the tree from the big man in red. Wishing you all the feels goods you can handle X
Raising a family on little more than laughs
This jovial post is sponsored by Woolworths