Fun With Mum
byMaybe it is time the kids went back to school. Without the distraction of homework they’re starting to find new ways to fill in time and amuse themselves.
Maybe it is time the kids went back to school. Without the distraction of homework they’re starting to find new ways to fill in time and amuse themselves.
I loved our day at Australia Zoo. Well, most of it. There was this one thing which happened which scared the absolute bejesus out of me.
“Check this out!” Tracey squealed from our office. I got momentarily excited because I thought she’d found money, but sadly this wasn’t the case.
I’ve never really been one to tiptoe between the shelves to find condoms or tampons. In fact, there have been times in my past when I’ve fairly skipped down the condom aisle.
“Why’d you send a pair of your undies to daycare?” the husband of a friend of mine asked his wife this week. That’s not a great way to start the dinner conversation…
You know that thing which most annoys you about yourself and you wish you could change, but can’t? Well, that’s the thing your kids are almost guaranteed to pull out of the gene pool.
“That is exhausting!” said Master21, shaking his head as he came into the kitchen. I know that look. He’d been helping the kids with homework.
“I give up! I quit!” Tracey said as she stomped through the kitchen.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked, looking up from my book and hoping like hell it wasn’t me.
Kids inevitably need to go the moment you’re lined up at a supermarket checkout or the bride is walking down the aisle or the waitress is bringing dinner to the table.
“Tough titties,” Tracey called over her shoulder to the kids in the back. “I love titties,” said Master8. The whole conversation kind of went downhill from there.
“Seabream, surimi, sole and snapper,” I mumbled to myself. It was one of four ‘New Broths’ advertised in a Woman’s Weekly from a year ago. “They sound interesting.” Tracey thought so too. Only in a different way to me.
Tonight, when I suggested Chinese for dinner, Tracey could have said, “Remember the Dragon.” Only she didn’t. So I’m seeing this as her fault….
“You’ll need a new toobrush,” my wife told me. “Our youngest daughter got hold of it.”
Miss1 has a habit of cleaning the toilet with toothbrushes so we have a habit of locking the bathroom and keeping them out of her reach.
Have you ever done that thing where you’re speaking to someone with an accent and suddenly you’ve got one too?
“I really don’t want to,” Miss9 enthused. But I chose to ignore it, sprouting off some nonsense about wishing to show my daughter a bit of culture and how she’s always saying she wants a pony: shouldn’t she at least see one up front and personal? Fact was, I just didn’t want to show up alone.