Only two weeks until I’m a full time SAHD.
I have high hopes I’ll be really good at it. I see a future with the heady scents of cake baking and ironing starch. No doubt I’ll be a bit of a Stepford.
But then stuff happens and I wonder if maybe I’m setting the benchmark a little high.
“What the….how did…when….SHIT!” I snapped when I walked into the kitchen today to make my wife and I a cuppa.
I’d been in the kitchen barely a minute earlier and it looked lovely and clean.
“That’s it!” I bellowed. “No more electronics! And what the hell is…?” I bent down. There were huge clumps of grass amongst the toys, books, shoes and ball. “EVER!”
“But Da-aaaad,” came the inevitable cry from the hoards as they rushed into the kitchen to see what they’d down this time. Everyone starred at the mess without a hint of guilt.
“One of you did it,” I pressed. “Fess up and clean it up before I go all ballistic on you.”
“It wasn’t me,” said Master10.
“I didn’t,” said Miss8.
“Me either,” said Miss5.
Everyone looked at Miss3. We all knew it was her.
For her part, Miss3 looked around at her siblings and took in the situation.
“I think it was Gwace,” she said, dobbing in Miss11.
“I don’t think it was her,” I said evenly.
“Why not?” asked Miss3, in a voice so innocent it makes Snow White’s sound devious.
“Because she’s staying at a friend’s place,” I pointed out.
“Oh, well,” said my youngest child, and skipped out of the kitchen.
The older three kids watched her leave and, as one, turned back to look at me. They knew not to say a word or risk redirecting my wrath.
“You get your bum back in here and pick this mess up!” I yelled after Miss3, then took off after her because there was no chance she was going to obey me. “And then you’re going in the naughty corner for lying!”
“You’re starting to sound like me,” grinned Tracey when I joined her in the office a few minutes later and handed her a cup of tea.
So I guess I must be doing this right?
Like I suspected, it’ll be a piece of cake.
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~ raising a family on little more than laughs ~