Maybe it’s the laughing gas of innocence which has me snickering, but is anyone else thinking ‘sucked in, you silly, stupid, lying, cheating idiots’ to those who’ve been caught out by this Ashley Madison leak?
Am I allowed to laugh? Am I even allowed to smile? Because while the way they’ve been caught isn’t strictly kosher, from where I’m standing the only victims here are the partners who knew nothing about it. Who knows what’s been allowed to sneak in between their sheets without their knowledge?
Straight up, let me say I don’t understand why anyone would cheat. That’s not to say I don’t see attractive women everywhere I turn. My eyes weren’t removed as soon as I said ‘I do’. But to go out and try have sex with them?
Maybe I’m just one of the lucky ones who has a great match. As we like to say, we’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other.
Or maybe I’m just one of the lazy ones who thinks extra marital affairs sound like a lot of hard work. I struggle planning a trip to the store to buy prawns, let alone a secret rendezvous to try pick up some crabs.
Either way, I can’t help but think sucked in if you got caught and your wife or husband is now demanding answers. And you know why? Because you lied.
I’ll confess here I really don’t care what people do in their private lives with their own bodies. I know people who have open relationships and people who are swingers. I don’t know who they are exactly, but I guarantee I do. And you probably do too.
And so what?
The thing with both of these is, by definition, they’re consensual.
Shag whoever and however and whenever you like, I say.
We already have interracial families and single parent families and, unlike fifty years ago, they don’t raise an eyebrow. Gay marriages will soon be legal here, I have no doubt, and within a short period of time we won’t feel the need to whisper and remark. It’s all going in the direction for people to be able to make their own choices about their lives. I fully suspect that in another fifty years people will be able to set up whatever sort of relationship they want – be it Big Love style cul-de-sacs or keys in a bowl or a Mikael Blomkvist-Erika Berger-Greger Beckman triangle or, if you want to stay traditional, a one man with one woman set up. And why not? I think consenting adults should be able to live and love how they like.
After all, I do.
There are considerations to be made, of course, such as protection and children and privacy, but, like the traditional man-woman marriage, so long as everyone is honest with those it directly affects I can’t see why it can’t work.
But being honest about this sort of thing isn’t as easy as it sounds. And that’s the problem those caught out in this Ashley Madison caper have come up against. If they lied by not being honest with their partners then they’re in the poo.
As always with relationships, it’s about communication. Of course, no one says it’s going to be an easy conversation, but surely it’s better to have it before going behind your partner’s back than after the deed is done. Your body, your choice is my motto on this, but by extension it’s your partner’s body and so your partner’s choice if they want to be party to, shall we say, a non-traditional set up.
Meanwhile, thanks for the giggle, all you liars and cheaters and scoundrels – because if you weren’t open about this with your partner that’s what you are – who now have some explaining to do to the one and only love of your life.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go tell my beautiful wife how much I love her and pre-warn the temptress I’ll be attempting to seduction tonight.
That way there’ll be no surprises in the bedroom, crab or otherwise.