When I was about eighteen dad ruined a perfectly good meal by announcing I’d be expected to do his eulogy. “You’re the oldest,” he’d argued when I protested strongly, instantly breaking into the sort of full body dampness lovers of not public speaking will recognise. As such I’ve been dreading the passing of my father more than most for 34 years.
My phone started buzzing Pulled from sleep, I fumbled to remove my sleep apnea mask and simultaneously reach for my phone, which went about…
‘They’ve got seven of the little buggers’, my neighbour probably thought to herself as she complained about the day she’d just had. ‘They’ll understand.’ And we do! Not sure we actually helped though…
I chuckled. This was playing out exactly how I envisioned it.
Canoodling was, I assured myself, assured.
It can’t be a coincidence many of the more disastrous stories I write about start with me being left in charge
I’m feeling a little unappreciated at the moment.
She looks harmless enough, I know. But looks can be deceiving.
“Oh, FFS!” I said, stopping the car as I backed out of the driveway. In case there’s any doubt, I extrapolated that acronym right the hell out.
My new bestie had only been halfway through the name of the festival and I’d already decided I was interested in wherever this conversation was going.
I readily agreed to Master14 practising his home economics dish thinking, incorrectly it turned out, it’d be nice to enjoy a stress free night of someone else cooking for the family.
My parents’ move to Lutwyche has gone well. For them. I’m exhausted and my brother is still running around like an ER nurse but…
“Excuse me,” I said, approaching a family of five who looked, from the dad’s expression, like they’d just had an unscheduled pee stop and…
“Did Grace show you her hands?” Tracey asked me as she into the kitchen from the car. “Oh,” I said. As in Uh-oh.
I may not be able to run like I used to, but jeez I can still move when I need to.
I’ll say this for Miss7, she’s got balls