Look What I Pulled Out Of My Closet This Morning

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Apparently, if I hold my guts and my breath in, and I’m careful with the camera angle,  I look okay.

It seems I have made a little bit of a fashion faux pas.

Recently I have taken to purchasing geeky tees because I am no longer gainfully employed so require new attire to adorn this beautiful (everything is relative so shut up) bod during work hours.

I now have a heap of tees which cover all the important bases – Star Wars, Firefly, Pokemon, Ironman, Dr Who. The usual suspects.

And every couple of weeks I’m adding more. Because, look, if people can claim homeopathy as a cure for anything then I’ve decided I can retail therapy for what ails me, which in my case is my wife isn’t here so I have control of the credit card.

And I am good at retail therapy. Really good.

Or so I thought.

Twenty assorted tees are now proudly hanging in my wardrobe ready to be called upon for SAHD or blogging duties.

Or, like today, to visit my wonderfully still-kicking wife in hospital.

I pulled out a particularly good tee this morning then wrangled all the kids to the car. Even Tracey liked how dashing I looked in my latest purchase, as evidenced by her comment upon seeing her hunk-a-spunk wearing it.

“I like your shirt,” she said.

See?! Justified!

If she's well enough to photobomb I'm thinking she's well enough to come home and catch up on the folding.
If she’s well enough to photobomb I’m thinking she’s well enough to come home and catch up on the folding.

In fact, I like my latest tee so much I put a photo of it up on Instagram and on my personal Facebook page. Then I waited for the praise to pour in.

Instead…the second person to comment focused more on the word SWAG on my tee than the wonderfully golden Stormtrooper in sunnies.

‘Single White And Gay?’ the Facebook message read.

‘Tell me that isn’t what SWAG means,‘ I commented back. Followed quickly by, ‘Actually, tell me it is.’

Because let’s face it, it’s hell funnier that way.

And Google seemed mad keen to confirm this particular acronym (although in the interests of full disclosure there were lots of others as well).

On a related topic, as I seem to be leaning towards the dark side of retail therapy (to quote Seinfeld, not that there’s anything wrong with that) I’m going to stop buying tees because I think it’s safe to say I don’t want to stuff anything else into my closet.

I might run out of room.

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“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”

3 Comments

  • Hahahaha oh my god I had no idea that’s what SWAG meant!!!! ?
    Is it bad that I desperately want to buy my fiancé this shirt?? I promise it is purely for the Star Wars factor… and definitely not that he will probably get teased by his friends for coming out ?.

    I’m so happy to hear of Tracey’s improvements. She’s doing amazingly well. It is a tough recovery. And the hospital food makes you want to give up eating all together. Especially the “soup”… I swear it looks scarily similar to vomit and baby poo.

    I hope she will be able to poo soon. I’ve just had my intestines put back together… it’s a strange feeling!! After not being used for nearly 2 years, my colon was not happy to be woken up. I don’t blame it. I hate being woken up too ?.

    Thinking of you, Tracey and your family xoxoxo

  • So have you checked out Best and Less for tees? My son works there, and its safe to say that out of 29 t-shirts in his cupboard, only 1 does not have a smart arse comment. Eg
    Please Wait – Sarcasm Loading
    Man Flu Survivor
    Sarcasm Is Just One Of The Many Services I Offer

    It’s a surprisingly good range!

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