“Dad,” I half heard Miss7 whisper in my ear while I was sipping coffee and reading a news article on my phone, “Eff you.”
Pleased to at least be able to say not the actual eff word, just the letters F and U. Hardly a consolation really and, boy, didn’t it get my attention.
And to be honest I was a bit miffed at any criticism at that point because we’d spent the last four days exploring the area around Canungra with the kids and calling it homeschooling. Drives up into the mountains and walks through rainforests to waterfalls, spotting wildlife, just about gutting a fudge shop and ching-chinging in a local pub. We’d even picked the short walks so Miss13, our resident cripple, could come with us.
There’s also been families at the showgrounds here for the kids to play with. I started to wonder if that’s where this sort of talk was coming from.
Not that Tracey would suspect that.
“I beg your pardon?” I stammered at Miss7, grateful we were on the bus and not in a crowd of strangers somewhere. I was equally grateful Tracey was focused on editing photos for a client because I am under no illusions who she’d blame for this sort of gutter talk coming out of our second youngest’s mouth.
“Eff. You,” Miss7 repeated a little louder, and much too casually for my liking. “What comes after that?”
“Harsh words and a ‘please explain’ from your mother?” I hissed. “You’re not allowed to say that sort of thing.”
She went on as though I was making no sense and, in fact, deliberately making things difficult – I recognised the tone I use during homeschooling lessons.
“Da-aad! Help me!” she continued. At this point I figured if her mother heard her there was nothing I could do for her. Mainly because I’d be focused on defending myself. Then she went on yet again, “What comes after eff you?”
“Stop saying that,” I told her, shooting a nervous glance over my shoulder to where Tracey was.
Too late. Tracey was staring straight at me and frowning.
“D-G-E,” she said. Oddly, I thought. Then she explained, “She wants you to spell fudge, you lettuce. She’s trying to Google a recipe so we can make it tomorrow.”
Well, thank effing goodness for that.
OUR WEEK OF ADVENTURING
The walk from the carpark to the Natural Bridge, in a time lapse vid. It’s very dark and boring but I just wanted to show how easy it is to get to.
Say that again?
Raising a family on little more than laughs
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