My youngest son is not impressed with what he learned today.
“I am never having a baby,” he told us in no uncertain terms.
Well, it all started with Miss7’s dress up birthday party today at the local park. Master9, being a chip off the ol’ block, decided to go as a girl, which he thought was hilarious. Unfortunately, this drew some unpleasant comments from another group of boys at the park who didn’t share his sense of humour. They followed Master9, Miss10 and their cousins around and eventually said he should have sex with a boy.
“You don’t even know what sex is,” Miss10 said to them. She wasn’t fazed. She thought they were idiots.
“Do to,” they said. “It’s when two people kiss.”
Master9 rolled his eyes.
“Is not,” he said. Then he pointed at his slightly older cousin. “He looked sex up in the dictionary and it means when two people rub their rude bits together.”
This all made for a very interesting story when I arrived home from work today and, at Tracey’s bidding, the kids retold their run in with a lot of emphasis on how dumb the other kids were. I hate hearing about my kids being hassled but I was really pleased with how my guys handled it. They stuck together and found a way to laugh about it.
“So that’s what sex is, eh?” I said to Master9. I was trying not to laugh but a smirk was definitely in place. “Two people rubbing their privates together?”
“Dad,” he said, “do you even know what sex is?”
Miss10 saved me from having to answer.
“Of course, he does,” she admonished him. Well, she saved me and then tossed me back into the deep end. “Dad’s had sex. How do you think we got here?”
Master9’s jaw dropped as he took this in.
“What?” he said, a look of shock and disgust now etched into his face. “Really, Dad?”
I looked at his horrified little face and very nearly lied. “Umm, yes.”
He gaped. Most people who gape do so deliberately as a joke. This wasn’t one of those fake gapes. This was a genuine gape.
“So it’s true?” he asked me. “You’ve had sex?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is,” I said in a contrite tone which didn’t match the grin on my face at all.
He kept his disgusted look leveled at me for a few moments longer, then took off towards the office.
“Mum!” he yelled. “Mum! Is it true Dad’s had sex?”
I looked over at Miss10.
“Come on, Dad,” she grinned, chasing after him. “We don’t want to miss this.”
We arrived just as Tracey, who also seemed to be in some sort of physical pain attempting not to laugh at him, was explaining that to make babies you need to have sex. Then she told him a bit about the birds and the bees, because the time to tell them is when they’re asking.
“Not that you’ll have to worry about it for a long, long time yet,” she assured him.
“I’m not going to have to worry about it at all,” he assured her back. “I’m not having babies because I’m never having sex. Ever.”
He seemed so determined that when he left the room I suggested to Tracey that maybe we’ll be looking to the other six for our grandchildren.
But he came good about an hour later.
“Maybe I’ll adopt,” he told us.
🙂 please share 🙂
“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”