Clothes Maketh The Man

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Did some shopping today. But tell me, does my ass look big in these?

“These shorts are a bit odd,” I told Tracey during my visit to hospital today. “When did you buy them for me?”

They’re clearly new. I’d found them amongst my pants this morning and I know I’ve never seen them before because they’re missing a couple of really important things.

“Give me a look,” said Tracey, so I stood up and did a spin beside her bed.

“They don’t have any pockets at the front,” I told her. “I mean, they’re nice,” I said, not wanting to look ungrateful she’d gone to the effort to chose them for me, “but I’ve got nowhere to put my keys and cards.”

“They’re a nice fit,” she said, sounding less happy about this than the compliment deserved.

“Thanks,” I said. “They feel good too. I like the fabric. It’s just I’ve never seen shorts without pockets for stuff, you know?”

“That’s what a handbag’s for,” said Tracey.

“Fine if you’re a girl,” I said.

And for a couple of seconds Tracey looked up straight into my eyes with an expectant expression.  I returned her stare with a ‘what?’ look I find way too much use for.

Then she gave up and shook her head at me.

“You really are an idiot,” said Tracey with that old familiar laugh in her voice. God, I’ve missed that. “They’re ladies pants, Bruce. You’re wearing my pants.”

I stand by them being very comfortable. Maybe I’ll ask Santa for a man-bag?

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Speaking of new clothes, I bought Tracey a shirt on eBay and it arrived earlier this week so I got to present her with it today. It’s very her.

In other news, when I arrived back at the ward this afternoon Tracey was being helped up onto a walking frame.

“Awesome,” I said, reaching for my phone and trying to remember how to film video.

She was most the way towards me before I managed to tap the right app.

“You might want to put that away,” said Tracey.

“Are you kidding? This is fantastic. I want to show everyone back in Gympie!”

At which point Tracey manoeuvred the frame through the bathroom doors towards the loo.

So maybe next time?

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“Raising a family on little more than laughs.”

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