This is a difficult story for me to write.
“Ahh! Stop the car!” yelled Tracey after she’d glanced into the rear seats of our car, and I slammed on the brakes and swung towards the curb. Her seat belt snapped open and Tracey dove out of the passenger seat and into the back towards Miss2’s car seat.
“What’s happened?” I shouted. “Is she okay?”
“She’s got the lollipop!” said Tracey. There was a bit of a wrestle and then my wife held it up, victorious-like, to show me.
“Was she choking?” I asked.
No, but I soon was.
To explain this one I need to go back five hours to before I arrived home.
“What have you got in your mouth?” Tracey asked Miss2.
Miss2 is quite switched on and understands not only exactly what we’re saying but also draws accurate conclusions based on our tone, body language and past experience.
“Mine!” she screamed as she made for the balcony gate and the freedom of the back yard.
We learn from past experience too, which is why these days the gate is kept shut with an elastic luggage strap.
“I’ll put it in the fridge,” said Tracey, and she took the lollipop off Miss2, which we can only assume was part of Master9’s hidden stash from his show bag at the local show, and placed it up nice and high on the top shelf.
Then she diverted Miss2’s attention with Peppa Pig. Followed by lunch, a nap, picking up of our three school age children and afternoon tea.
“So I was a bit surprised when I came out of the bathroom and she was in the fridge, clinging to the shelves she’d climbed and pulling things off the top shelf,” Tracey told me. “And all she could say as I ran to get her down was ‘where’s lolly?'”
“Are you telling me you I could have caused a pile up because she found an old lollipop she’d been sucking on?” I asked Tracey.
“Not quite. Because the reason the lollipop wasn’t in the fridge is I didn’t want her sucking on it again so I threw it into the bin,” said Tracey.
“Eww,” I said, almost gagging.
“That was the first time it was in the bin,” said Tracey, wiping Miss2’s face with a handful of baby wipes and, I swear, shoving one inside her mouth for a whip around as well.
“The first time?”
“Half an hour later I found the dog chewing on it so I took it off her and tossed it away again.”
Yep, the lollipop Miss2 was sucking on had been in the bin twice and the dog’s mouth once.
Which is why I gagged. And gagged. And gagged.
…and why I’m still gagging when I think about it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to type when you’re dry retching??
Our ’BIG FAMILY little income’ Facebook Page
’raising a family on little more than laughs’