“Is this where we get it, Dad?” Miss6 asked me loudly as we exited the car.
I was pleased she used the word ‘it’ so that the older lady standing in front of the chemist, presumably waiting for a lift, didn’t know what we were talking about.
“Sure is,” I told Miss6. Then to distract her I quickly added, “Now hold your sister’s hand please and let’s get going.”
Inside the shop were a number of people waiting for their prescriptions. I tossed up which way to go with my enquiry. Not that I particularly cared what the other people in the chemist thought. I’ve never really been one to tiptoe between the shelves to find condoms or tampons. In fact, there have been times in my past when I’ve fairly skipped down the condom aisle. But I do understand some people find it awkward when they can hear what other people are asking the staff for because, let’s face it, almost everything you buy in a chemist reveals a little something personal about you.
So, with this in mind, I approached the counter with a view to keeping things a little hush hush.
“I’d like some kiddy chocolate please,” I said to the lady behind the counter.
You’ve got to hand it to those chemist staff, they really are good at clandestine language: the sales lady paused for all of half a second before she got what I was saying. “Ah, of course. For how many and what ages?”
The staff know us at this chemist, so there was a slight delay while they rounded up some pen and paper to do the maths – I rattled off the ages of the kids, and included both Tracey and myself in the calculations. A minute later I had two boxes of kiddy chocolate.
Miss6 and Miss4, naturally, wanted theirs immediately.
“When we get home,” I told them and tried to get them moving towards the door.
Which was when my ‘keep in on the down low’ plan fell to pieces because Miss6 had an update for me on her personal situation. To give her credit, she did attempt to whisper it. At first.
“It’s not just my bum, Dad. My wee wee is itchy too now.”
“Okay, sweetie,” I whispered back. “Thanks for the update.”
Unfortunately though, Miss6’s whisper is louder than her speaking voice, so a couple of people turned our direction. Even more unfortunate was that my whisper was an actual whisper, and Miss6 didn’t hear it at all so she repeated her message, only this time at full bellow.
“I said my wee wee is itchy! Not just my bum!” By now it seemed everyone was looking. “And my tummy and my legs.” The tirade of additional information continued outside the store, past the older lady standing in front of a shop window, who was staring fixedly up the road, but visibly shaking as she tried to hold her chuckles in. “Can I have the chocolate for my itchy bum now, Dad?”
“Me, too!” yelled Miss4, jumping up and down with glee as I fumbled for my keys. “My bum itchy too! I want chocolate!”
And while we’ll continue to regularly worm our kids, in future I’ve decided to definitely take my kids with me to the chemist to buy the ‘kiddy’ chocolate. Sure, some people might feel awkward when they hear what others are in the chemist for, but from what I saw today worm tablets are universal in bringing a smile to everyone’s face.
Must be because they’re made of chocolate.
When not over here, Bruce Devereaux hangs out at his Big Family Little Income Facebook Page. Come join us 🙂
”Raising a family on little more than laughs.”